The NinSegaWare Chronicles
by nintendoaddict113
Summary: A crossover with Sonic, Mario, and Banjo! Can they stop the plot for interdimensional conquest?
1. Blasts from the Pasts

Chapter 1: Blasts from the Pasts

AN: This is my first fanfic. This chapter only talks about how the Sonic cast begin to intertwine with the Mario one. I apologize, but I may not have much time to type this as I do have homework. A LOT of homework. Any questions or comments would be appreciated. ALSO, please do not spam me with 'LYKE, OMG! UR STORE IS COPYNG MIN!ONESHIFTONE!' If there's something that bothers you, let me know.

Peach's Castle, Past

Two weeks have passed since the Shroob invasion. The first order of business was to make the old castle like new: replacing the carpet, seeding the gardens, and other such things. The Toads have returned to the village to continue on with their lives. However, one thing remained unaccounted for: the Cobalt Star.

Early evening, Bowser's Castle, Past. Prince Bowser is having a temper tantrum. AGAIN. He yells and screams, "I WANT THAT TREASURE, KAMEK! GIMME! GIMME!"

Kamek, however, is not the thing he is yelling at. It is a Kamek clone, placed there so his plotting would not be interrupted by the spoiled prince. "How? Why? Every time I look into my crystal ball to see a great plan by Bowser, it always fails! Even when he's invincible! Unless..." He quickly consult his copy of _Theories of Immense Power_. "Hmm... Yes, that makes sense... AHA!"

He quickly takes off into the night, to retrieve all the power he can get. Target one: the Cobalt Star.

Midnight, at Peach's Castle. Kamek's magic has come in real handy, after E. Gadd sent that anti-airborne attack shield from the future. Kamek swore when the defense system set his best broom on fire. "Mental note." He muttered while landing. "When become ruler of universe, take out good scientist."

His invisibility helped him scour every room until he found out that the jewel lay in the brightest-lit and best-secured room in the castle-the Princess's chambers. His invisibility did him no good there, as people could see his shadow. So he bewitched a Toad guard into retrieving it for him. It was a piece of cake, but something very wrong occurred when he touched down at home base...

ARK-The home of Shadow, and now, a really creepy doll he won from Eggman's circus. Shadow despised that doll, but no matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of it. It came back over and over again. It seemed to walk from room to room, but Shadow couldn't prove it, not even after checking surveillance tapes. It looked just like Tails, and Shadow could swear that its eyes seemed to glow red just when he was about to go to sleep.

But then, one morning, a vortex appeared right below Shadow as he was on his daily rounds, and he got sucked in. The evil doll suddenly snickered and followed Shadow through the hole.

An island somewhere on Mobuis- Ah, now this was the life. Sandy beaches, no worries, and most importantly-no Amy. Sonic was soaking up some rays when he saw a most peculiar sight. It was Froggy. But the Froggy Sonic saw often was not this Froggy-This one was MASSIVE and he was purple. A small green cat was chasing him, yelling in his squeaky voice, "Froggy, please come back!" Sonic had to double-take.

Meanwhile, in his workshop, Tails couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go catastrophically wrong. And it somehow involved one of Eggman's odder creations. The Tails doll is very mysterious. Some say it's a demon trying to convince us otherwise with its cheery theme song. Some proclaimed that it just was another creepy toy on the market. But only a handful said that it was a part of a plot long ago to take control of the universe. And sometimes, the small minority is the voice of truth. Either way, it seriously freaked Tails out. Suddenly, a bright light shone from the celing. One of the machines beeped in alarm. _Oh no,_ Tails thought. _That means that the space-time continuum is shredded again._ Like an angel falling from the heavens came a person Tails had only heard stories about. He checked the unconscious girl over a time or two to make sure he was perceiving this right. His fears were confirmed. Maria Robotnik had just landed in his house...

At Station Square, Amy was in a slump. She couldn't find Sonic, there was nothing in the paper about him, and there was nothing to do. That is, until she returned from her shopping trip. She heard squeals of laughter as she locked the front door. Heading towards the sound, she found a little blue hedgehog lying on her carpet. And judging by his diaper, he had been there a while. She scooped him up and oohed and aawed at him, and that's when she saw the note. The note that would forever change her life...

Dodging lasers and security cameras, Rouge made it closer and closer to her target: one of the Chaos Emeralds. _The doctor really needs to step up his security,_ she thought. Then, she heard baby noises. _WHAT is the doctor dong with a baby? Did he get hitched, or did he steal it?_ She arrived at her destination, only to see a little red echidna swallow her prize.

"No! Bad baby!" she scolded, only to find herself ankle-deep in a pool of tears. "Shhh! We don't want to get caught and killed, do we? Let's get out of here!" She then saw a note pinned on the baby's diaper that would drag her into an interdimensional plot...

Knuckles was fed up with them. There were several babies crowding the Master Emerald Shrine: Four humans, a fox, a bat, and a hedgehog. Three of the human babies were slim, and they all had headgear. One red cap, one green cap, and a crown. The other one was big, bulky, and he had gotten the others out of the makeshift playpen Knuckles had created. The fox looked like a younger version of Tails, as it had two tails. The bat was sucking on the emerald like there was no tomorrow, and the hedgehog was of a vaguely familiar shade of pink. Knuckles was out of toy ideas, so he called Tails on his cell.

When Tails picked up, after the seventh ring, he sounded weary. "Hey, Knuckles. What's going on? Yaawn"

"You sound like you've been up half the night. Listen-do you have any baby toys I could use?"

"What for, to remind you of your childhood?" came the reply.

"No. The little gifts from above have been popping up all over here, without reason or cause."

This made Tails wide awake. "How many?" he asked.

"Seven. Four humans and three others. I'd say that one of them looks like you. One of the humans looks like she's some princess of some other land, but..." He never got to finish that sentence.

"But, Knuckles... There are NO royalty in Mobius. Do you know what this means?" Without waiting for a response, Tails continued. "Someone in some universe, past, present, or future tried coming to this time period from another, and a faulty power source caused something called a time hole. They can transport people and things to other places and times they were never supposed to be in. Someone dropped in here yesterday, and I've had to put her on life support all night. Have you heard Shadow talking about a girl named Maria? Well, not only is she Eggman's cousin, but she's in my house! Contact as many usuals as you can get. This is going to be big..." A dial-up tone suggested that Tails had hung up. _What in the world is going on here?_ Thought Knuckles to himself...


	2. When Koopas Attack!

Chapter 2: When Koopas Attack!

AN: Yes, it's another chapter! At the time I'm typing this there are 13 total chapters, all ready to go. I just have to upload them. (I started this fanfic on Feb. 4, 2006. I just recently heard of Anyway, enjoy!

In Peach's Castle, in the present, Mario and Luigi are planning Peach's surprise party. As the princess is about to turn 25, things are getting a little hectic trying to keep Peach out of the kitchen, where most of the planning is taking place. Suddenly, a Toad runs in in a state of shock, skidding on the newly-mopped tile, and bumping Luigi into the cake.

"Luigi, would you PLEASE get out? Your bad luck has caused us enough grief for one day." pleaded the chief chef.

"Luigi, Mario... Something happened...time hole...strange creature...evil...walking doll..." Those were the last words the Toad said before the Tails Doll came in. The lights seemed to darken as that cheery, yet creepy tune played. Some wind started blowing toward the doll as the Toad's spirit was sucked in. Many thought the doll looked slightly larger, but no one could say for sure.

The one thing everyone could count on was Luigi running in sheer terror as the body of the dead Toad turned to ash. He just so happened to bump into the one hedgehog who would attack anyone who came running at him like a maniac. After Shadow sent him flying, (and destroying half of the first floor) Luigi landed in the room where the time machine appeared from nowhere in. But what came out was not who he expected was smart enough to pilot it.

Meanwhile, E. Gadd had arrived on the scene with the Poltergust 3000 and was sucking up the rogue doll. Suddenly, an emergency beeping noise came from the Time Radar on his belt. After dealing with the spooky menace, E. Gadd answered it. "Oh, no!" he gasped. "The time holes are back! And so is the time machine!"

Suddenly, Luigi came running in, panicking. After he recovered, he shared the bad news of who was in the time machine...

Earlier that morning, Kamek landed in Bowser's castle, but when Prince Bowser started to play with Kamek, (dodgeball with the Cobalt Star) Kamek got hit, and he got sucked into it. The Star then glowed brightly, and both it and Bowser fell through an abyss of darkness and landed in Peach's Castle. "Ha! My magic is now much stronger!" yelled Kamek's voice triumphantly. "Bowser! Get into that machine now!"

"Make me!" came the snappy retort. A flash of light followed, and the prince turned into a frog. "Okay, okay. And while we're at it, let's get some flies." Another flash, and Bowser was his old self. Or so he thought. He was now much taller. And stronger. And more evil. He then said in a gruff voice, "Wow, that was a jolt... So why do we need to use the time machine?"

"We need a few 'friends' right now. Next stop, the castle of the future!" Bowser stepped into the machine and it vanished, but for some reason, it cracked and split a little before it disappeared, with a third staying behind...

Back in Tails's workshop, most of the crew was there. Even Vector, Charmy, and Espio were there, with small baby versions of themselves. Charm's was ranting in squeaks about top-secret disks, and the little Vector was saying, "Find the computer room!" at the most serious times and when they told him to be silent. Tails was presiding over this little meeting, when someone knocked at the door. Most of them were surprised to see Blaze come in, and everyone was worried when she gave signs of being in a state of panic. "Th-the Sol Emeralds are gone! And who exactly put a huge DOG to guard the vicinity of this building?" She exclaimed. Everyone looked at Tails. "It was you, wasn't it? Well, I've got a bone to pick with you later. No pun intended. ...So I'm back here...AGAIN" She took a little while to calm down.

"Well, there obviously have had some trouble." said Tails. "I mean, look at this! We've had openings into other times and dimensions! Look at all these babies! And this odd pair of a frog larger than the cat! And the absence of one of our own!" A computer started beeping. "Hold on a sec'." He picked up a phone. "Yes... Oh, hey, Shadow! Where are you? ...There, huh? Well, talk to an old guy with odd-looking glasses. He'll help you. Say, have you seen Amy? No, huh? OK! Bye!" He hung up. "Well, we know where Shadow is. Now we need to contact Amy. Who has her cell number? Agh!" He slipped on a bluish puddle. Then all heads turned to Sonic. "Well, Sonic, you call her. We'll put this on speaker and record it too. But no pressure."

"Who is it?" Amy asked when the phone rang.

"Err... Amy. This is Sonic."

"Hooray! You finally called me! I had to have given you my number millions of times."

"4,754,213 times, Amy. Now stop it. I called you because..."

I thought this day would never come! Sonic called me, and he wants to marry me!"

"Uhh... Amy, please..." came the stuttered reply. While that was going on, the blue liquid oozed over to Knuckles.

"Oh, I know what's wrong! I'm not having this recorded! Sonic not giving me a flat-out no for the first time! Well, if you wanna have kids with me, don't bother. I already have one!"

"You...You are chasing me all this time, yet, with someone else, you had an AFFAIR?" A whole lot of chuckling was made at this, and the blob took advantage by swiping the Master Emerald while he was distracted.

"No, but this cute widdle guy somehow made it into my house. I'm gonna name him Sonic Jr. because he looks just like you!"

"A-Amy! Come over to Tails's workshop with the baby and we'll work this out!" Amy then bursts through the wall. "Hey, how'd you get here so fast? Even I couldn't do..." Amy then tackled Sonic and roared at everyone ferociously until they backed off. She then began kissing Sonic until he was lipstick-red all over.

Meanwhile, the huge prince squeezed out of the time machine. "Wh-What's going on? Everything around me is shrinking! I'll crush all my toys! Suddenly, he hit the celing. "I've gotta get outta here! He crawled through the door and out the quickest way he could find. Lucky for him, the entrance hall was huge, and there were staircases leading to all the floors. He didn't dare jump down, for that would cause a tremor, and he would be spotted. Instead, he ducked inside his shell and rolled down. At the bottom, his shell cracked. "Oh, great. That was a brand new shell!" Then, he passed a mirror. He was in shock! He didn't recognize himself, because Kamek's magic was still working. He visibly grew taller, and he looked more menacing. His claws were turning yellow and his eyes were bloodshot. He tried breathing a little spark, but he set the mirror alight with a huge black blaze. He suddenly lurched another foot tall, and his shell was turning turquoise. He barely made it out without attracting attention. He darted to the nearest huge cave to wash up and have Kamek plan things out.

In the cave, he became frustrated when his shell wouldn't come off. When he kicked the wall in frustration, it crumbled. Then he encountered an angry Wiggler. With one flick, he sent it crashing into the wall in a faint. _Ugh..._

Shadow was very ticked off. First there was that maniac running at him, and now he couldn't destroy the rest of the Omochao colony. Now they would just breed and there would be more loudmouths. At least that huge thing in a shell could try to put up a fight, so Shadow followed him into the cave. He saw Bowser crying. _What a wuss!_ "Hah! This shouldn't take long!" He yelled out, and he was right. Sort of. He was thrown out of the cave faster than he could ever hope to run-1,200 miles per hour. Halfway across the world, he crashed through a large door, and glimpsed an underground city-like ruin. Finally, he crashed back through the opposite side of the cave and kicking a very surprised Bowser in the stomach. If the prince wasn't 95 muscle, it would have worked. But Shadow got half of his bones broken, and he was buried a mile into the rock by Bowser, who had grown yet again. Now he was too big for the cave and it disentigrated. Prince Bowser, who this morning was a foot and a half, was now 30 feet tall, making him hard to miss.


	3. Trouble Boils

Chapter 3: Trouble Boils

AN: Chapter three! You get to see Banjo coming into the story, and the all-important TV commercials are here! Also present is a large group of OC's! Again, questions/comments/concerns appreciated! NOTE: I do NOT own any character (except the OC's here.) Mario and all other characters belonging to his group are property of Nintendo or Square Enix. (For the most part, if you don't know them and you're a Mario fan, they probably belong to Square) Sonic and all related characters belong to Sega, and Banjo and his lot are property of Rareware.

After practicing, the large villain found out that he could breathe fire in seven colors, with each having a different effect. The red burned and the yellow blinded. The green poisoned, and the blue confused. The purple was extra-powerful, and the black tore things apart atom by atom. The brown stank and the orange shrank things. He could also fire them all at once in a lethal blast.

While all this was happening, Luigi explained to everyone that Kamek was talking to Bowser about getting items with large quantities of power in them. E. Gadd then relayed the info over to Tails, whom he knew from the AMIESG (Annual Meeting of Interdimensional Extreme Science Geeks). During the conversation, it was decided that the Treasures of Power needed to be saved. These included all things which had vast quantities of power, and were usually threatened during evil attacks. They usually came in sets of seven, but there were a few variations. There were 35 total, and the score was 2-1. Baby Knuckles swallowed a Chaos Emerald, Knuckles had the Master Emerald, (but didn't find out it was stolen until later) and Bowser had the Cobalt star.

It was also concluded that everone would split up and control, to the best of their ability, four of the artifacts remaining. Mario and Luigi would protect the 7 Star Spirits and the Star Rod. Rouge and Knuckles would keep track of the six remaining Chaos Emeralds, and two Sol Emeralds. Blaze and Amy would go after the remaining Sol emeralds and find three of the Crystal Stars in the Mario dimension. Sonic would be left to gather the four Black Chests that had powerful magical residue. Meanwhile, Tails and E. Gadd prepared to stall the spoiled prince and bumbling Eggman in any way, shape, or form they could.

While this was going on, two pals were relaxing at home until they got an unexpected visitor-their annoying helper from the past, Bozzeye. Banjo and Kazooie were practically retired heroes, long missing from any action whatsoever. Their last encounter with their archnemisis, Grunty, was over twelve years ago. Her lair, however, was still spick and span, and someone had repaired all the damage from when she got buried underground. Bozzeye told them about a most peculiar encounter he had while he was extending his molehill locations. "Well, I was just digging, and then I fell onto a hard floor up in that giant hag-head. Some spirits floated in, so I hurried over under an oversized bed. One fat ghost shared a bit about 'taking over the universe at the top of my tower', whatever that meant." He then collapsed on the ground, and Mumbo-Jumbo, the resident witch-doctor and person-who-watches-villainesses-make-their-comeback-and-always-live-to-tell-the-tale, came running and repeated the tale almost exactly the way Bozzeye described it, but he set it in Grunty's own triple-story mansion, which is linked to her lair.

Suddenly, a large time hole opened up and a giant vacuum nozzle appeared, which sucked up Banjo, Kazooie, and Mumbo. A similar thing happened to Humba-Wumba, the magical helper on the Isle-O'-Hags, and Jamjars, a military mole. They were all sucked down through a thin tube, and only Banjo benefitted from it, as he got MUCH slimmer. They landed in an oversized vacuum bag and were released by none other than E. Gadd. "Good day, everyone. You have now landed in another dimension." He sniggered for a moment. "You've been brought here for a reason, and that's because one of your...acquaintances, Bottles referred you to me. He also noted that we will need a silk coushin to carry a Kazooie on..."

"Awesome!" squawked Kazooie, who plopped down on it.

"...filled with fleas, ticks, and other such nasty creatures." At this Kazooie leaped up off of it. "We brought you all here because not only are most af you are familiar, but because of a Humba-Wumba's research with the 'reset theory'. That's you, right?"

"Yes, I Humba-Wumba. Old tale says there's reset button somewhere. Resets anything to what it was earlier. But button so powerful, it hidden. Button looks like remote. Humba-Wumba feels this situation is good for button. Tale also says a black hole sucked up button one day and button was never seen again."

WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK!

several members from PETA are hiding behind a flaming car  
Member 1: Okay, when he comes out, we give him a hug. Agreed?  
Members 2 + 3: Agreed!  
Member 1: Shhh...I can hear him now!  
Shadow walks in, unaware of the PETA members  
Shadow: glowing red Death to all who oppose me! Chaos Blast! explosion

Announcer:  
**C**rouching **H**edgehog **A**ctivists **O**verhear **S**hadow **E**merge **M**uttering **E**nchantments **R**eleasing **A** **L**udicrously **D**estructive **S**cene.

**CHAOS EMERALDS**

Even Shadow loves Chaos Emeralds!

Shadow is seen taking two emeralds

Chaos Emeralds are placed on a table against a wall  
Shadow: At last, I've got ALL the Chaos Emeralds!  
Sonic: Aren't you worried that someone will steal them?  
Shadow: Nope. Check this out! pulls lever  
wall behind table rotates the table out of view, which is replaced by an empty table on the other side  
Sonic: Nice. Secret revolving wall.  
Camera pans to other side of wall  
Black arms in adjacent apartment: Guys, hurry! The magic table is back! begins grabbing emeralds  
Other black arms: chanting Magic table...magic table...

NEW! The Tails Doll is now at Floormart!

Random kid: Wow! This soul-sucking action is AWESOME! I'll use it on my parents!

It can be yours for only $299.99. Only $299.99! That's one big deal! So come on down to Floormart and pick yours up today!

Drink NEW Broka-cola today! Because it's just water mixed with addictive drugs, you'll always want more! And try Broka-cola LITE! Available at your local Floormart.

"Welcome back to 'The Planet's Dumbest Supervillians'! At number two in the countdown is Black Doom, who..." The TV changed through several channels.

Black Doom was furious, but he had been that way for weeks. He was watching an undamaged TV in Westopolis, waiting patiently for the day after next: the day he would help to destroy the universe and take revenge on that pathetic hedgehog and his pathetic friends and dominate their pathetic planet full of pathetic people, who were now rebiulding their pathetic cities with pathetic tools. But he and his gasses would take over the world in two days. He got so bored, he was prepared to watch all the little-kid shows for a whole day just to be ruler of the universe.

Meanwhile, in the far future, twelve animals were preparing for a voyage into the past. This event concerned them directly, because if someone died, at least one of them would vanish, or at the very least change drastically. The only thing they had to wait for was their time machine, which was built to look like a Chaos Emerald. The machine was supposed to have arrived with their good friend, Dr. Kintobor a few minutes ago. There were five hedgehogs, a bat, a rabbit, a fox, two echidnas, and two cats. The blue hedgehog was Summer, and her pink brother and white sister were Speedy and Snowball. The purple ones were named Ruby and Sapphire. Kneepads was always making sure her brother, Elbows, was okay. Inferno and Little were also brother and sister. Sugar and Spice were siblings, but they were different animals. Ebony was the sleek black bat in the shadowy corner, perfectly blending in.

Finally, Kintobor came with the machine. He reminded them, "Remember: your mission is only to help your parents' past selves, not to do anything beneficial for you. Who knows what could happen? But I do sincerely hope all goes as planned." Everyone touched another, so they wouldn't get left behind, and then, they vanished...


	4. Meet your Maker

Chapter 4: Meet Your Maker

AN: Chapter 4! This chapter introduces none other than...ME! And to those that want it, I promise Chapter 13 (up to 12 are already written) is where the villains come out from their shells for once. It's a shorter chapter, though... Anyway, I do not own any of the characters (except myself) in this chapter. I may not upload any chapters until after Thursday, as I have to go to a concert.

It was a disaster. Trying to get the treasures solo, or in groups of two, didn't work out. Bowser and the Tails Doll outsmarted them time and time again. Everyone was lucky to make it through alive. Shadow was sore about his fight earlier, so when Mario and Luigi came back and reported a failure, he threw them into a time hole, sending them onto the planet of two of their most powerful, deceased, archenemies: Shroob. They weren't seen until near the end of Chapter 11.

But Bottles, who had just arrived, and Jamjars took advantage of the chaos by setting up a shop. Of course, they only accepted notes, but they had a currency exchanger off to the side. One ring was worth two notes and coins' values depended on what kind it was. The regular gold coins were worth five notes, red coins were worth ten notes, and blue coins were worth twenty. However, a goal ring was worth fifty notes. The same went for Shine Sprites, Jiggies and other end-of-level apparatuses. Empty Honeycombs and Mumbo Tokens were worth 25 notes. Bottles sold weapons and upgrades, while Jamjars monopolized the ability market. Below are their merchandise at the beginning:

Bottles:

Intelligence Cap: Bi Makes Big as smart as everyone else 100N

Super Hammer: A A Piko-Piko Hammer upgrade 200N

Jet Boosters: T Allows you to fly longer 250N

Drill Claw: Ku Allows you to dig underground 300N

Pick Nails: Ro Comes with Drill Claw, same effect

Light-Speed Shoes: SoASh Allows you to speed through ring trails 300N

Large Backpack: Ba Allows you to hold more stuff 300N

Grappling Hook: Bi Allows you to grapple onto things 300N

Steel Beak: Ka Allows you to pierce metal 400N

Crystal Ring: Ev Allows you to become invisible for short periods 500N

Frisbee: Ev Summons a horde of rabid dogs 600N

Jamjars:

Fire Eggs: KaBurns target 50N

Grenade Eggs: KaExplodes on impact 75N

Ice Eggs: KaFreeze target 75N

Battery EggsElectricity-packed eggs 75N

Swimming: EvSwimming lessons 75N

Chaos Inferno: SoShBlA Allows you to stop time for a short period 100N

Improved Homing Attack: Ev More damaging homing attack 100N

Taxi Pack: Ba Lets you place everyone in the pack (Large Pack required) 100N

Shock Spring Jump: Ka Lets you jump very high 125N

Invulnerability: Ka Makes you invincible for a short time 150N

All the spare change they earned during their attempts totaled at 654 notes. Of course they bought the Intelligence Cap and the Large Backpack. They also took swimming lessons and the Taxi Pack move. To end this shopping trip, Kazooie learned how to fire Fire Eggs. When they left, the mole brethren agreed to keep track of the last 4 notes in their possession.

"Hey, Mr. Sonic!" called Cream when they left. "Can I come along with you?"

"Sorry, Cream. We need someone to look after these babies." came the reply.

"But I already have someone to babysit for you! So can I come?" She made her most pitiful, round-eyed puppy-dog eyes as she said this.

"Er... Okay. As long as you don't hinder us, you're welcome to come with us!"

Tails suddenly cut in. "Hey, Sonic! Apparently, that Bowser jailed the Star Spirits I was talking about! Let's go after them first! You know how bosses always give you some information just before they die."

"I'll stay here and alert you if I find anything here, young whippersnappers!" announced E. Gadd. "Now, Eldstar is being held in the Koopa Bros. Fortress. Go and rescue him!" Just as they were about to leave, he cut in again. "Oh! Sorry, but keep your eyes open for keys! They'll help you get through the different places you'll be traveling to."

Even Mumbo and Humba Wumba, who were bitter enemies, were working together. "Bear and bird bring Glowbos to Mumbo and Dumba Wumba. (Old habits die hard) We give animals spells for helping make adventure easier. But drop by Fourth Wall first. Here, have portable wall. Press green button to make wall grow. Time stop while in building. Press red to have wall shrink. If animals go more than ten feet of wall, animals freeze until wall shrunk." With that, Mumbo handed them a small wall, like you might find in an office: dull, drab, and white.

"Mumbo get sued for insults. Wumba get all his property. Wumba has good lawyer." Wumba replied. They soon got in a fistfight.

"I think it would be wise to do this outside..." said Banjo as he inched towards the exit.

"Good idea, Banjo!" agreed Kazooie as a spell almost hit her. "This is gonna be fun, but I wanna kick some butt myself!"

Fourth Wall, Inc. is an office in which many, MANY authors work, and Mark is the one writing this story right now. MARK WUZ HERE. There. That's proof. Many characters in videogames and fanfics (like this one) break through to here to talk with the authors. But the building itself is magical. To get to other rooms, you have to break through walls right under where there's a 4. When you get through, the broken wall repairs itself, no matter how many times you do it. But only people concerned with an author can break through his/her wall. Just like the several characters are doing RIGHT NOW to mine, just to get introduced with me, as I'm going to be in here a lot.

Whatever I say in here happens, no matter what. This computer, with this typed document on it, is the BIBLE of this story. Tails has no tails. "Hey, gimme my tails back!"

Oh, fine. Tails has twenty tails. There's all the tails you've lost in this building.

"NO, I want TWO tails, not every tail I've ever had!"

Fine. Tails has two tails and...

Everyone else yelled, "STOP!"

Well, ex-CUSE me! I was just about to make this easier for you, but I'll make it harder. Remember, it'll come back to haunt you... Anyway, I'm the author, so be sure you don't say anything...EMBARRASING about yourself, as I type verbatim. Everyone except myself is in Goomba Village. All of the animals vanished into thin air.


	5. Goombatastic!

Chapter 5: Goombatastic!

AN: This is the longest chapter yet. Remember that there is an inner n00b in all of us!

PS: Thanks to the StH boards on Gamefaqs for the almost word-for-word assault on each other!

The Goomba Village was not the one Mario had entered when Bowser stole the Star Rod the first time. It went from having one house to having a dozen different abodes. But the Goomba family still lived right by the gate, and they now kept a lock on the steel gate (no more easily-smashed wooden fences) to keep Bowser's minions out. Goompa was still fixing the veranda. Unfortunately for him, one large cat fell from the sky, along with several other odd animals in that odd forest off to the left. And guess what? Goombaria came to check out the place again, as she felt the rumble.

She was amazed to see Sonic, Banjo, and everyone else, all of whom she didn't know. "Hey, you look like that black hedgehog up at the castle!" She said to Sonic.

"Before you ask, kid, I AM NOT related to that hedgehog. Now, how do we get to this castle?"

"Oh, that's EASY! That is, if you don't mind being attacked by strong monsters."

"Whatever."

"Well, if you're that sure, Goompa has the key to the gate. He's fixing the veranda in the back of my house. Come on!" She then led them through the maze of furniture (newly bought) to the back where a door was. "Just go through here, guys!"

But when they all crowded through, the veranda wasn't there. After a brief moment of shock for everyone, they all tumbled down to the soft grass below. That grass, coincidently, was covered with sharp sticks and rocks from the veranda. But a sudden gust of wind pushed them off to the side, so they landed on a rock-solid ledge. Tails, Cream, Kazooie, and Rouge fared slightly better than everyone else, as they slowed themselves down with whatever they used for flying. You should really thank me, guys, for not being impaled by those boulders and pieces of wood. Say it! Now!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." recited Knuckles. Suddenly, a dictionary fell on his head. I beg to differ.

"So you fell from up there, too?" asked an elderly Goomba who walked up to them. "I see you were reading that as you were walking out. Next time, you should watch where you're going."

"Oh, darn it! I lost my hammer!" Amy cried out. Everyone turned to her.

"So THAT'S what hit me in the head a second ago. I thought I was being attacked by Hammer Bros. If you're looking for it, it bounced into some bushes over there. We'll need it to break this block here." He motioned towards the yellow block next to everyone.

So everyone went to find the hammer. When they recovered it, Jr. Troopa came in and said, "Not you again, old man! I thought I told you NOT to come back here! Now I don't see any plumber with you, just some STOOOOOOPID animals!" He pointed and laughed like a maniac.

"Hey! Take that back!" Big retorted.

"Make m...AAAAAAA!" Big had just sat on him, flattening him into a rude pancake. "I...won't...for...get...this..." moaned the flat annoyance.

"So now, why were you going out on the veranda for?" asked the elder Goomba, whose name was Goompa.

"We were going to get the key to the gate." mentioned Banjo.

"Oh, well, if you think you can survive out there, then here's the key. Oh, and here's the key that unlocks the gate back into the village. Be safe out there!" He yelled, as he climbed up the vertical slope to get back to the house"

They broke the block and proceeded through the pathway, when they came across a Goomba, which attacked them. One of their homing attacks was enough to dispatch the fiend. A few rings popped out when it vanished into a puff of smoke. (Hey, the three worlds are still in connection with each other!) They were picked up, and everyone then had an incentive to attack every thing that tried to attack them.

When they finally reached the gate and opened it, Bottles got their attention from a nearby hatch. "Hey, guys! Come here! You have to see this!" When they approached him, he then said, "Come on in!" He then dove into the silo. Everyone looked at each other, then proceeded to jump into it.

They fell onto a mattress carefully placed at the bottom. They saw a small shop, much like the one at home base (Tails's Workshop). "We thought that our prices were a little steep for their value, so we dropped the prices. We also have more merchandise! Here's a list of our edited merchandise!" He handed them a sheet which read:

Bottles:

Grammar Cap: BiGives Big good grammar 100N

Super Hammer: AA Piko-Piko hammer upgrade 150N

Jet Boosters: TAllows you to fly longer 200N

Drill Claw & Pick Nails: KnRoAllows you to dig through the ground 250N

Light Speed Shoes:AShSoAllows you to dash through ring lines 250N

Huge Backpack: BaAllows you to hold more stuff 300N

Grappling Hook: BiAllows you to grapple onto things 300N

Steel Beak: KaAllows you to pierce metal 350N

Crystal Ring: EvAllows you to become invisible for short periods 300N

FrisbeeSummons a horde of rabid dogs 600N

Jamjars:

Grenade Eggs: KaExplodes on impact 100N

Ice Eggs: KaFreeze target 75N

Battery Eggs: KaElectricity-packed eggs 75N

Water Eggs: KaWet eggs 90N

Stinky Eggs: KaFires stink bomb-filled eggs 90N

Chaos Inferno: SoShBlAAllows you to stop time for a short period 100N

Shock Spring Jump: KaLets you jump very high 100N

Invulnerability: KaMakes you invincible for a short time 125N

Hammerang: AThrow hammer to hit distant targets, then it returns 200N

: Sh? 500N

By now, they had 581 notes from all the goombas. (They live in huge colonies now.) They purchased the Grammar Cap, the Crystal Ring, and Grenade and Ice Eggs, leaving them with 6 notes, which were stored with the other four. Then, they boldly climbed the ladder back up, opened the gate, and stepped onto the beaten path towards Toad Town.

When they were halfway there, slightly weary from the endless hordes of goombas, they were stopped by two giant goombas. One was blue and the other was red. "Halt!" they cried out. "You can't make it past here!"

"And why not?" inquired hotheaded Knuckles.

"Because...WE'LL CRUSH YOU!" the two towering giants boomed as they attacked.

A combination of fire and ice eggs were enough to make the brobdingnagians (Haha! You're learning new words!) fall, the ice egg hitting the red one and the ball of fire smashing into the blue one's face. When they got up, they went crying to their leader, King Goomba.

The ten heroes then triumphantly ran down the path, eager to fight the king who would make the two blue coins they had gotten seem like mere lunch money. A little too eager...

When they finally arrived at the run-down castle, a gargantuan behemoth (Pheer my thesarus:)) in a crown appeared, nearly squashing them. "Me King Goomba! Me Smash you!"

"O RLY?" Came the reply from a fox who spent too much time on message boards.

"YA RLY!" came the reply.

"orly. RLY!"

"oblarggag. RLY!"

"YA RLY!"

"Can we just get on with this fight!" yelled an impatient breegul.

"We ARE fighting!" yelled Tails over King Goomba's repeated YA RLY!'s. "Acid flood!" yelled Tails. Corrosive acid flooded from the heavens and ate at King Goomba until he was nothing but a mouth saying his retort over and over.

For some reason, Sonic had the urge to say, "This must be the work of Torqegood!" Everyone was staring at the two, with their jaws about to become dislocated. "Okay, so we are online 3 hours straight a day. Let's just go into that Toad Town that was mentioned by Mark."

"Good idea." everyone agreed, but they stood a good foot away from Tails and Sonic the whole way.


	6. Of Spamming and Stars

Chapter 6: Of Spamming and Stars

AN: Tails gets a spam-launcher and you get to see stars having a barroom fight. Oh, and Baby Bowser is found to be justified in one of his oddest phrases in Super Mario Sunshine, and we learn of a third of the mole brethren.

Upon entering the expansive Toad Town, they found an elevator sticking out of the ground. After a little consideration, they decided to press the silver call button. A solid gold elevator came up, and when it opened, there was a mole lying on a velvet seat. "So, you found me at last, eh, good chum?" He inquired with a British accent.

"Say, do you know Bottles and Jamjars?" asked Banjo.

"Jolly good, old chum! I am Wineglasses, their older brother. I took off with the family fortune and made a glass-making company! Our sales have been so good that we bought one of our competitors years ago, Grunty Industries! Now we can make over three times more glass at once, after we had the whole place exterminated.

"Yes, there was an order to have all personnell evacuate the building while we sprayed it down with insecticide and pesticide. Trouble was, someone halfway destroyed the security system, opened the train entrance and the main door, and took all the treasures that were stored there. All the notes and Jiggies vanished. And we had many, many security cameras broken, wall crushers disabled, and the security dogs slept with the mice-catching cats." Banjo looked down at the groung when he heard this.

"But it was the best thing ever! No theif came in because there were no valuables, we bred special 'dots', and we were going to hire someone to tear the security system down to make way for a new one. So I guess I should thank you, old chum. You and that beastly bird I've heard so much from Bottles and Jamjars about. So here, I'll give your friend these." He handed Tails an odd-looking gun and an orb that looked as f it were made of pure crystal.

"These our some of our latest weapons: the Flameshield 9000 and the Super Powerful Annoying Machine Making Erratic Replies Corroding Really Everything That's Immediately Nearby, or the SPAMMERCRETIN. You just type the spam in that keyboard, select the annoying level, then press the send button to launch it at the enemy like a machine gun. Be sure to look in all sorts of places for my elevators! Now, shoo! You're wanted at the Shooting Star Summit."

The confused animals then set out for the Summit while Princess Peach was confronted by the police. "We're sorry, princess, but we have good news, bad news, and worse news. Which one do you want to hear first, your highness?" asked one officer.

They finished climbing the steep, winding hill to see seven star holograms. They were playing poker, drinking, and having a ballroom fight. When they noticed they were being watched, every one of them blushed and tried to hide everything. "Oh, you must be the ones we sent for." stated the image with a long beard. 'Now prepare for useless dialogue in which we just say that we need you to rescue us, with no indication of where we actually are being held."

"What? Oh, fine. Good news, then."

"Well, we want to congratulate you for having 8 kids and not gain an ounce of birth weight."

"WHAAAAAAAAT!"

"If you hear the other news, then you'll know what we're talking about."

"Erm...bad news, please."

"We're arresting you for spawning evil."

**"WHAAAAAAAAT!"**

"And the worse news is the explanation of both. You, Princess Peach, have been subjected to amnesia and multiple cases of...rape. By the only person who would dare to do that." He looked from side to side, then whispered, "Bowser."

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** shreiked the distraught monarch.

In Toad Town, the ground cracked and lava flowed upward. Twilight Town turned into Noon Town. Rougeport became the richest city ever and Poshley Heights crumbled into poverty. Dry Dry Desert turned into a winter wonderland and Fahr Outpost and Shiver City turned swelteringly hot. Bowser's castle was filled with dolls and flowers. The moon exploded. Gravity reversed. Hospitals were 100 unsanitary, and Isle Delfino plunged into an inky darkness. Flower Fields burned down. Green Hill turned into Red Hill. Delcatties and Mightyenas fell in love and married. Cloud Cuckooland fell below the planet's surface. Mad Monster Mansion turned into a carnival funhouse. Tooty turned into a bear-like Medusa. Wars broke out. Forever Forest turned into Never Forest and disappeared. Tubba Blubba's castle and the surrounding terrain sank into a ravine. HSOWA spread to every message board on Gamefaqs. ...Well, maybe not. But an earthquake DID occur in Toad Town.

"You see why we gave you earplugs and brought you here?" asked Mamar, the one with the bow as the noise died down.

"Thank you, miss Mamar." said Cream.

"Oh, you are so adorable. When you rescue me, I'll have something for you, sugar."

"Thank you."

"Now go back to Toad Town. Merlon is sending a Toad to get you. Beware the..." At that moment, all seven of them disappeared as Eldstar, the old star, was about to finish his sentence.

Just then, a green-spotted Toad appeared, saying, "Hey, everyone. Merlon wanted me to tell you to come over to his house. Merlon's house is the one with the spinning roof." Everyone dashed off to meet the acclaimed magician, but they fell through another time hole created by Eggman.

"Hello, everyone." Eggman said as they landed. "GET A LOAD OF THIS!" He held up the yellow Chaos Emerald, which Sonic swiped immediately. "Aggh... He's not going to get away with this!" He presed a button on a remote he had, and all four doors closed and a red lockdown siren blared.

Robotic guards flew to Sonic, and he destroyed one. "He got Keith!" one of the machines said.

"STOOOOOP!" Eggman yelled. "This isn't the place for this!" He teleported them to a coliseum somewhere. "THIS is where that's done!" An army of his creations came in and attacked everyone. And so, the onslaught began...


	7. PIous Revenge

Chapter 7: PIous Revenge

AN: The introduction of Plotholes! The mysterious helpers for those who have writer's block!

The robots came fast and furious towards them. It was 5,000 to 13, with thousands of different robots. There were everything from Egg Pawns to E-2000's charging straight towards them.

"Oops." said Big as a huge gas emitted from his rear. It made everyone stink worse than anything else before, and every robot disentigrated.

"Aagh... He's not getting away with this!" Eggman shouted. "Ah, well. PHEER MI 7EET59Ek!ONESHIFT!1111!1 GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF THIS!" He fired a gun he retreived from the destroyed Egg Viper, scorching Big until he fell to the ground. Eggman then aimed at Sonic, who was destroying more robots as they entered the arena. "GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF GET A LOAD OF THI...Aargh! She's not getting away with this!" Amy had stolen the gun and the emerald, and they were all headed for the exit, when Plot Hole 43 swooped down and swallowed them, teleporting them back to the exact moment in time they left.

"Heh heh! Get ready to be SCHOOLED!" He pressed the 'send' button on his laptop, and some e-mail was sent to who-knows-where.

"Oohh! Shiny jewel!" said the green Toad, as the went back to the exact moment they left. "But... WHAT is that smell? I feel fai..." He fell down in a coma it smelled so bad. Then all the flowers wilted. And the trees fell down. And birds fell from the sky. And the ground dissolved into sticky mud. And each blade of grass wept it smelled so bad. The dogs for miles around whined in pain and rubbed their noses in something so that they wouldn't smell it. And all the flies died. And you could actually see the fumes coming off them. And the Toad melted into plasma. And the sky turned black. And their hair was a jungle filled with dead insects. And...

"All right, Mark!" screamed Kazooie. "The reader gets the point! You can stop now!" And Kazooie was half a millimeter tall. "Okay, okay!" squeaked the miniscule Breegul. Kazooie is one-millionth the size of an electron. Kazooie is one billion trillionth the size of what she was a second ago. Kazooie...

"Erm...okay, could you please stop now? I'm sure she already fell out of the backpack." timidly requested Banjo. Suddenly an atomic explosion occurred. But everyone was okay because of Plot Hole 54, who magically appeared out of thin air. Kazooie is her normal size, but her beak is the same size as it is now. Haha. Hahahahaha. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Finally I have taken the ultimate revenge on that lame-brained censored who got Banjo killed during the final boss fight in my copy of Grunty's Revenge! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'll stop now.

"Put me right you censored and would be censored anyplace else" Kazooie said with her microscopic mouth. Okay, but I'll sell your picture at this second on Ebay! Click click! Okay, Kazooe's mouth is the size of an 18-wheeler. THAT'S the size your mouth was born at. And while I'm at it, Banjo is a gallon of lard in a can, Sonic is a snail, Amy is a big heart, Shadow is just a shadow, Rouge is full of fat, Big is a tiny dog, Blaze is twice the size Big was just now (and twice as STOOOPID), Cream is a lion, Tails is a large tail, Knuckles is just a hand, and all of them smell so bad that anything they touch is disentigrated immediately. That's for Chapter 3. You'll be like this until the end of this chapter. It isn't that bad. You can still hop around. Oh, I've got e-mail. Be right back as soon as I check it. Awkward silence and grumbling ensued. Oh, it was from Eggman and it was blank. Anyways, go get Merlon. See if he can help you. He3ll pr.babl1 n4t h1l5 y9u 2t 6l5. He3, wh5t's 979i32384?626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164 0628620899 862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859502445945534690830264252230825334468503526193118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019893809525720106548586327886593615338182796823030195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151557485724245415069595082953311686172785588907509838175463746493931925506040092770167113900984882401285836160356370766010471018194295559619894676783744944825537977472684710404753464620804668425906949129331367702898915210475216205696602405803815019351125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279678235478163600934172164121992458631503028618297455570674983850549458858692699569092721079750930295532116534498720275596023648066549911988183479775356636980742654252786255181841757467289097777279380008164706001614524919217321721477235014144197356854816136115735255213347574184946843852332390739414333454776241686251898356948556209921922218427255025425688767179049460165346680498862723279178608578438382796797668145410095388378636095068006422512520511739298489608412848862694560424196528502221066118630674427862203919494504712371378696095636437191728746776465757396241389086583264599581339047802759009946576407895126946839835259570982582262052248940772671947826848260147699090264013639443745530506820349625245174939965143142980919065925093722169646151... The numbers fell from the sky, and everything turned black.


	8. Pi a la Spacefiller

Chapter 8: Pi a la Spacefiller

AN: Yay! More time in the Fourth Wall. Another bad egg joke, and you get to see what some n00b cooked up for me! Also, thanks to everyone who got this over a hundred hits in about a month!

Everything burst through the computer screen. Every prop, every blade of grass, everything that has already been in this fanfic. Then came a deluge of text. Red alarm lights went off. Hundreds of characters, including clones because other authors use the same characters at once, piled out into the hallways of The Fourth Wall, inc., closely followed by millions and billions of characters of text (pardon the pun) as the virus struck the archive section. "Glad everyone made it out." I commented.

Knuckles the fist hopped over to me and said, "Change us back. NOW." Knuckles is nothing but a finger joint. "Stop it you censored!" Knuckles has no muscle whatsoever and is 100 fat. And he will experience unrelenting, pure PAIN until he gets on my good side.

"This should help, Shadow." I flicked a piece of paper toward him.

"OUCH! That paper's crushing me!" Everyone is back to normal, but Knuckles's pain quintupled 4 times for one whole minute. After the shreiks of pain died down, Shadow looked at the paper and said, "NO. I will not do this."

"You have to if you want to delete the virus. And I can just turn you back into a shadow and have a 50-ton weight fall on you. That was just a piece of paper that hit you. Imagine over 1,000 times that weight on you. Back on the subject, this virus is Eggman's special 'Merengue Pi' virus. You know how he is with egg references. The only known way to stop it is to destroy the one period. You HAVE to do it before he gains access to the writers' mainframe, or you'll die a million times over in a world ruled by an egg-crazed wacko. Have any of you, besides Tails and Shadow, seen his creepy circus? The world will be a larger version of that. So will the ARK, and every other place imaginable. Just step in here. I'll do the rest." I motioned them to step into a newly-materialised chamber. (Courtesy of Plothole 54) They got shrunk down to tiny size and I put them on a CD. I inserted the CD and ran it, hoping for the best.

Inside the disc drive, the disc was whirring at top speed. They all held onto Big to keep from tumbling elsewhere. Suddenly, it stopped. They were on the monitor now. An arrow moved to pick them up. The arrow then shoved them into a document, and they landed back in the sea of numbers.

DO IT, SHADOW! "Oh, fine. Gimme the real emerald we got from Baby Knuckles. The one we stole from Eggman is fake. I've been around these things for FIFTY years, so I should know. Besides, Plothole 23 appeared just now. It's the 'counterfeit' plothole." He took a deep breath, then started: "TEH! LOLYPOP! I AM SOME HOMELESS GEORGE WHO SMASHES GAME BOY ADVANCES FOR NO REASON AND SAYS CUSSES A MILLION TIMES! OH, AND PIE! CUSSES CUSSES CUSSES CUSSES CUSS-" he then disappeared, turning all the numbers into rainbow-colored bespectacled shoes.

The shoes yelled, "OH, WHAT A WORLD! DO THE HOKEY-POKEY! ROLLING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND!" and vanished. Shadow then reappeared.

"Chaos Randomness, yeah right." He then retreived the period, which got a serious blasting from the SPAMMERCRETIN at the 0neWing level, which caused it to disentigrate. Okay, now back to you going to Merlon.

When they approached the door and knocked on it, someone yelled, "Merlon is out!" They knocked again. "Didn't you hear me? I said he's out!" Another knock. "OH, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! COME IN ALREADY! THE STUPID DOOR'S UNLOCKED!" They entered to see Merlon. "Here's the key that leads to Pleasant Path. Now shoo!" They were shoved outside.

"He's rude." muttered Sonic.

"Hey, Banjo!" yelled Speccy. (Just like the first part of any adventure game, you get sidetracked and delayed a lot! XD)

"WHAT NOW!" was the general groan of annoyance.

"I was given one hundred notes from Mark just to sidetrack you here and now! I'm going to start a long speech that'll last for hours, then give you something that's worth almost nothing! Aren't you SPECIAL?"

Shadow reached for his Shadow Rifle, which I, Mark, turned into a water gun the second he pulled the trigger, aiming at Speccy! "phrase censored" Shadow yelled. There is now a piece of heavy-duty duct tape placed on Shadow's mouth.

"Err... ANYWAY... Let's start that speech!"

A few hours later... "And that's why... HEY, ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING?" Speccy yelled, waking everyone up. "Here. I mentioned this several times, and you may need it for espionage and the like. See you at the next kickball tournament!" He ran off after giving them a small case containing one pin with a tag on it. "Shadow Badge" it read. Eventually, everyone decided that Shadow would put it on. Suddenly, he vanished, leaving only his shadow.

"Well...okay, I get it." said Amy. "I guess these 'badges' transform our physical shape or allow us to get to secret areas." Everyone looked at her. "What? Was I the only person who listened at least halfway into that speech?"

"So... Is he invisible, or just a shadow?" queried Tails.

"Only one way to find out." chuckled Sonic. He thrust one of his shoes to where Shadow's rear was.

"Ouch!" came a voice from nowhere. "That gust of air hurt!" The shadow moved under Sonic and it started pulling him into the ground. Sonic retaliated by shining a flashlight on the source of his new pain. "AARGH!" Sonic picked up the shadow, squeezed it, then threw it into one of the many crevices that were now in the town. Shadow came up from it, and was about to attack when the fun box enclosed him. FUN BOX, OH FUN BOX! SMALL AND SQUARE AND DARK! FUN BOX, OH FUN BOX! CHECK OUT THESE COOL PADLOCKS! (yes, I do enjoy making TV references) Locks appeared out of nowhere and Shadow, being squeezed in it tightly, could barely breathe. After five minutes of fuming, Shadow got out of the fun box and they finally made it to Pleasant Path. But...

"STOP SIDETRACKING US ALREADY!" everyone yelled. Everyone is as I described in Chapter 6, but... "Okay, stop!" I knew it. Now then, they found that a bridge was destroyed and an electric fence was above it, preventing flight usage. So they had to go to Koopa Village with the usual 'the-town-that-you-need-to-get-something-from-is-under-attack-and-you-can't-get-it-until-the-attack-is-over' scenario. This time, it's under attack by the fuzz. Or rather, the Fuzzies. Their only objective was to annoy, and be fillers for this fanfic to make the reader think that this is a really well-made, in-depth fanfic instead of some shabby nonsense (Which this ISN'T, of course) and to accomplish both, they were stealing Koopa shells from the residents for their leader, the Atomic Fuzzy, who is several times the size of a normal Fuzzy. They managed to corner him, take the stuff back, and destroy him. They found he was just 200 Fuzzies morphed together. With that, they got the Shellmerang from Kooper, one of Mario's old partners. They learned that the Shellmerang could be used to hit distant switches and other things that could be activated by touch.

Then, when they left the village and hit the switch, they were in for a nasty shock...


	9. Tiny Emerald, Huge Chaos

Chapter 9: Tiny Emerald, Huge Chaos

AN: We hit 200 hits today! As I'm open right now, I'm getting up to Chapter 15 today! Lucky you!

They found that the door was too small for any of them to enter. But there was a handy time hole just waiting for them nearby. They jumped in...and landed outside of one of Eggman's bases. But this was no ordinary base. It was designed to look just like a regular house. Everything in it looked normal, EXCEPT...  
There was complex machinery that greeted them when they entered. It released a gas that made them shrink to the size of quarters. They couldn't reach the doorknob to get back out, so they went to find the Chaos Emerald that was in the house. They found it in the (seemingly-ordinary) kitchen. But the door sealed itself behind them, so their only option was to pull the tiny lever nearby. "Let's just pull that lever! I can't stand this creepy house for one more second!" Amy suggested.

"But...if this Eggman is anything like a competent villain, it'll be booby-trapped, to make sure we die." Banjo replied.

Amy went ahead and pulled the lever anyway. The lever opened a cage, letting a rat get on a platfrm with a hunk of cheese on it. The weight caused the pulley to lift the other end up, knocking a shelf. The shelf had a steak attached to a hook, and it fell, right in front of a gerbil in a wheel. It ran, trying to get the scrumptious meal, powering up the generator, turning the power on. "See?" asked Banjo, but they had to find a way out soon. A frightened, stereotypical bat then flew out, screeching, and it passed a laser. When the bat passed through it, the laser didn't get to the other side, and the burglar alarm went off. A small mouse hole was revealed in the wall, and everyone scurried through it.

Now, they were in a large office. Several office supplies fell, almost crushing them, and some dominoes started falling. The dominoes knocked over many supplies, including pencils with large erasers stuck to their points. Meanwhile, the sink turned on, and it flowed into some piping. The pipes led to some (seemingly) random vases, weighing them down. They noticed another hole in the wall, and they climbed up the pieces of wood to avoid the rising water level.

They were now in an upstairs playroom. But they weren't safe yet. Robots were firing lasers everywhere, and they left little scorch marks on whatever they hit. The dominoes were falling in here, too, and they were causing as much havoc as the rooms before. This time, however, there was the usual 'something-dangerous-is-chasing-you!' thing found in all Sonic 3-d games. This time, it was a huge truck, which was sent down a ramp after them by a single domino falling into it. "Man, does this guy have THAT much time on his hands so he can booby-trap a whole house?" asked Kazooie.

"You have NO idea." Sonic retorted.

"Stop arguing and RUN!" yelled Amy.

They made it down the slope in record time. To do that, they went Big-sledding. They all pushed Big over, gave him enough force to slide down the incline, then hopped on. At the end they were catapulted by (what else?) a seesaw when a Y-Container landed on the other end.

The room they were in now made three greedy mouths water. It was a room filled with treasure! The three people were Knuckles and Rouge, both being treasure hunters, and Kazooie when she realized how much birdseed she could buy with it. But first they had to avoid it squashing them, as more dominoes knocked down golden trophies, baskets full of coins and statuettes. Then, they noticed one glaring fact. There was a large pack of motion-sensitive dynamite at the end of the room. Just to survive, Tails, Rouge, Cream, Kazooie, and Knuckles caught the domino that would have spelled eternity for them. Now they were safe, and they finally returned to their normal size as the gas's effects wore off. Rouge and Knuckles set out to gather all the treasure from the room, being mindful of the explosives.

They also found a key made of copper, which was pocketed. At long last they could exit (thanks to Knuckles's fists) and they found (suprise, suprise!) another time hole. Without question they entered it and were back in Tails's Workshop.

"Shadow?" called a voice.

"Ma-Maria?"

"Oh, there you are, Shadow. This is a new place to me, so I don't know much about it."

"Oh. You're in my workshop." Tails cut in.

"Shadow, who are your friends? I think they're cute. Are they more of Grandfather's experiments?"

"Well, no, we were born, not created."

"Oh. I'm sorry. But who are you?" They introduced themselves to her.

"I'm going to call one of your old friends from the ARK. He should come in a few minutes after I call."

"Old? What do you mean?"

"Maria, this is the first time I've seen you in fifty years." Shadow mentioned.

"50 years? This is all impossible!"

"No, it isn't. Our friend over here can explain most of it to you. Now I've got to make a call, so be quiet, everyone!" He picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Mr. President? This is Tails. Could you connect me with the GUN commander? Thanks. Hello, Commander. We have a situation here that almost directly impacts you. Yes, you. We need you to come by the Mystic Ruins and make sure someone stays safe, otherwise a certain hedgehog will attack you with blinding rage and extreme prejudice. Yeah, the workshop is a little bit west of the train station. Thanks." he hung up. "Now, let's show our friends a little gold, shall we?" he went over towards the makeshift counter that was set up.

The bags of treasure were added up and they had 4786 notes, including the 6 that were held for them. This time, the list was:

Bottles:

Super Hammer: AA Piko-Piko hammer upgrade 150N

Jet Boosters: TAllows you to fly longer 200N

Camoflage Badge: EvAllows you to blend in with your surroundings 200N

Chaos Badge: EvMakes you look and have the same abilities as Chaos 200N

Helium Badge: EvAllows you to float through the air. 200N

? Badge: EvTransforms you depending on where you are 200N

Drill Claw & Pick Nails: KnRoAllows you to dig through the ground 250N

Light Speed Shoes:AShSoAllows you to dash through ring lines 250N

Huge Backpack: BaAllows you to hold more stuff 300N

Grappling Hook: BiAllows you to grapple onto things 300N

? Block: EvGives you a random powerup 300N

Steel Beak: KaAllows you to pierce metal 350N

FrisbeeSummons a horde of rabid dogs 600N

Jamjars:

Battery Eggs: KaElectricity-packed eggs 75N

Water Eggs: KaWet eggs 90N

Stinky Eggs: KaFires stink bomb-filled eggs 90N

Chaos Inferno: SoShBlAAllows you to stop time for a short period 100N

Shock Spring Jump: KaLets you jump very high 100N

Invulnerability: KaMakes you invincible for a short time 125N

Hammerang: AThrow hammer to hit distant targets, then it returns 200N

: Sh? 500N

They were sold out by the time all the notes had been spent, except for the 6 notes, which, again, were stored for future use. "Wait, Banjo! Mumbo has spell for you. Take it. Mumbo see you at trial. Wumba sue me." With thst he was pulled away by a pair of large, buff Jinjos in suits and sunglasses.


	10. Trial of the Twisted

Chapter 10: Trial of the Twisted

King Jingaling banged the gavel. "Hey! This court is now in session. Prosecutor, state your charges against (insert name here)" he read off of a slip of paper.

"My client, Humba Wumba, is pressing charges for extreme insults, racial slurs, and rumors spread on an online chat board and dating service." stated her lawyer, Mr. Whyte, the only white Jinjo.

"And the defendant's response?"

"Mumbo Jumbo is only guilty of one of those items as a 100 fact. The slurs and rumors were online, and when we called the service, the true offender was some punk in Missouri. Tom Sawyer, I believe it was." Mumbo's lawyer, Ms. Greene responded.

"May the jury see evidence from both sides?" Paperwork was handed to Mr. Yeller, Mrs. Blu, and Miss Redd, the Jinjo jurors. After a while, they reached a decision.

"We believe..."

"Yeessss?"

"...that it's..."

"It's what?"

"PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY TIME!" Sandwiches fell from the celing, and a dancing banana appeared. "We will have an eating contest! The side that eats the most sandwiches wins!"

"EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!" screamed the Jinjoes from the sidelines. Even more sandwiches fell. One cheap Jinjo even held out a bag to catch lunch for his kids. In the end, it was a tie 321-321 as the twenty now sumo wrestler-like Jinjo helpers waddled off from both halves of the courtroom.

"Since we have not found a winner, let's send these two over to the next-highest court! Court adjourned!" Everyone stormed down to ingest the brown-and-purple mess everywhere as even more continued falling.

"Let's get out of here!" Sonic yelled over the mayhem.

"We can't. That goo is blocking the door. And even if it wasn't, there's all those Jinjoes." said Banjo.

"I'll clear the way. But first you'll need these gas masks I got. They came with the new move I learned." Shadow calmly uttered. He handed them to everyone, then jumped into the chaos, while turning green. "Chaos...FART!" he yelled, and suddenly there was a huge wave of green gas bursting outward. Several Jinjoes sniffed the air, eyes twitching. Then their color faded, turning them all gray. Several of them rubbed their noses in things, trying to stop the scent. All the jelly and peanut butter hardened, then crumbled into nothingness. Every single person who couldn't sheild their noses from the awful stench panicked. Their nose hairs burnt, causing small fires everywhere. The building crumbled, and only the main characters, Mumbo and Wumba escaped alive and intact (because I said so) and they ran for their own sanity as the Jinjoes wandered outside babbling about giant jellies.

"Me use hedgehog as lawyer next time!" exclaimed a surprised Mumbo as they looked back to see the destruction.

"Y'know, I hope those plumbers are okay wherever you sent them, Shadow." Amy started. "I mean, they could be starving, and we may need them later on." A nearby wall broke, and a slip of paper fluttered down with the number 4 on it.

Meanwhile, Shroob was in chaos. There were few Shroobs foolish enough to go outside, and they were the first to be devoured. The stimuli were two starving plumbers who reeked awfully. Yes, Mario & Luigi were consuming every Shroob they could get their hands on. They were sitting around a campfire, roasting a live Shroob on a spit, who was shrieking horribly. Nearby was a gigantic pile of bones, which were being gnawed on by purple Shogs. (Shroob dogs)

"Hey, everyone!" shouted Bottles. Shadow's ears had steam coming out, which was soon replaced by fire. Everything around him burned in the intense heat emanating from his body. He turned a fiery red, and anime-style sweat drops appeared on everyone else. It seems Shadow needs a visit with the Fun Box's smaller brother. A smaller box than before enclosed Shadow as he started to expand because he was full of hot air. Then the box flew up out of sight and returned a minute or two later (because hot air rises).

"...Errr... ANYWAY... Here's a Spellcaster 2000... It's kind of a gift for buying us out. See you guys later!" With that, Bottles ran as far away from Shadow as possible.

"I think we can get into that tiny door now. Let's go, before Shadow blows up." Banjo said.

"Hey, everyone!" Tails imitated Speccy.

Shadow blew up. Literally. He overinflated with hot air, steam blowing out every opening on his body, causing a stink. After a while, he popped like a red baloon with an angry face on it. "Nice going, Tails." said Sonic.

Lo and behold, Plot Hole 31 appeared. It passed and collected all the Shadow pieces, swallowed them, and spat out a whole Shadow, who now had a dumb-happy expression. It soon turned back to somewhat-normal like for him.

"Who am I? What am I? Where am I? When am I? Why am I here? How did I get here? Who are you? Why are you looking at me like that?" Shadow asked.

"Don't worry, his memory will be back in a few minutes." said Plot Hole 31. "just keep him calm."

"Hey... Let's ask him what his deepest, darkest secrets are!" suggested Kazooie.

"NO! If he knows that he did, and he will, I'll have to go into overtime, and take the money outta YOUR birdseed money!"

"Hey, how did you know I had birdseed money?"

"We Plot Holes are omniscent." With that, it vanished.

Insert warp back here

But blocking their way was Lord Crump! "Hey! I was sent here by the CEMENT to collect Eldstar! Back off!"

"Wha?"

"Groan. You've never heard of the Convention of Evil Masterminds and Evil Ne'er-do-wells and Troublemakers?" Insert long, boring, winding speech here "I'm a member, so I'm gonna... HEY ARE YOU ALL ASLEEP! I'M GONNA WHUP YOUR censored BUTTS NOW, YOU WIMPY CRYBABIES!" He hopped into one of his special robots, Magnus von Grapple 1.1, and attacked with its wimpy paper fists. Suddenly, a gigantic pink ball appeared and clouded out the horizon. Then, a vacuum of tornado-like proportions started. It swallowed Magnus von Grapple 1.1, which blew up somewhere along the pathway, causing a huge mouth to burp loudly, and one tiny ball of pink fell, landing on top of Shadow, and it started to bounce around.

"What the heck?" Sonic opened up the wall-warp leading to my office and entered. He got my full attention and said, "WHAT in the wold are you thinking? What do we need next, Mr. Pants everywhere?" Good idea. A sticker with Mr. Pants on it is now on Sonic's chest. He ripped it off, and my security guard threw him back in through the wall.

After a while of bouncing, the ball landed, and it was Kirby! "Aaww... He's cute!" cooed Amy. "Hey, what's that on him? The SUPERHEROES, huh? The Society of Uber Protection from Evildoers Ruling Here and Elsewhere, Really Opressing Evil Skillfully." She read off of the badge.

What will happen now? What stupid acronym will be next? Where will they go? Find out in the next installment of...

"Okay, now it sounds like some sappy soap opera! QUIT MAKING THESE ODD PLOT TWISTS WILL YA?" shouted Sonic.


	11. The Haunted Fortress of Ironies

Chapter 11: The Haunted Fortress of Ironies

They shrank down to a tiny size to enter the fortress door, and they found themselves in a place filled with Boos. "Eeeek! It's scary in here!" Cream squeaked. "I'm getting out of here!" She tried to yank the doors open, but they came out of the hinges. Behind where they were was a solid brick wall.

"Well, at least we're together!" Amy said after a pause. Suddenly, trapdoors opened under all of them, and each of them fell onto a different metal slide.Screams echoed through the bowels of the fortress, as each was sent to dreamland, as they were knocked unconscious by the cold, hard ground where they landed.

Amy was after him again. This time she was actually catching up with him. Sonic started to sweat he was running so fast. Finally, he lost her as her attention was caught by something on the ground. He bumped into someone. "Hey, watch it!" yelled the person, and he caught Sonic's attention, as he looked just like Eggman. Suddenly, everyone around him started to look more and more like him. They grew tall and round, and they all sprouted moustaches. Then Sonic himself began to change, while the millions of Eggmans laughed. He tried to run, but he got too tired, due to his new lardy frame. He woke up screaming.

Meanwhile, the others were having nightmares of their own. Dead Maria and blown-up ARK. Failing an I.Q. test. The Master Emerald shattering beyond repair. Jewels turning into dust. Beautiful Grunty. Eggman viciously killing every Chao in sight. Sonic going out with another girl. No birdseed money left. Kirby exploding. All of them also woke up crying out in terror. The Boos all around cackled in mirth.

When everyone had come to their senses, they tried the easy way out, but the doors were just fake. The only way out for the girls was the men's sports department! But even worse... The only way out for the guys was through...THE PERFUME DEPARTMENT!1!1!11111!ONESHIFTELEVENTYONE!

Insert slo-mo clip of different characters running with respective backgrounds as giant hands spray different perfumes and BOderants on them

"Hah...Hoo... Well, we made it. Now we..." Amy got cut off.

"Sshh!" said Blaze. She then wrote down on paper, 'Everytime we say something, this place somehow always makes the opposite come true! Watch.' She then said, "Too bad all the boys aren't here with us and we don't all have chalkboards in our hands with brand new sticks of chalk to go with them!" Suddenly the rest of them were there, magically teleported from the other end of the building, with chalkboards and boxes of chalk. Blaze wrote, 'Where were you? Pass those chalkboards around.'

Banjo, catching on, wrote, 'We went through the perfume department into the school supplies section, where these just appeared out of nowhere. Where were you? BTW, lets use CH7$P33k 2 save chlk.'

'We wur in Sprts Depart.'

'I cant rite god w/ these stubbly arms. PLZ HLP!'

'Ill help u Kirby!'

'Thnx'

'Wait...' "Hey, it's too bad that sharp and pointy gems and notes aren't falling down from the sky!" Rouge shouted. Suddenly, there was a hailstorm of the soft notes as rain and gems as hail.

After the cash was pocketed, they attempted to get out. But a boo appeared. "You think you can misuse this magic? You think you can go free now?" He turned huge and did the trademark Boo scary face. "YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE DEAD WRONG! Come on out, Boos!" 199 other Boos flew through the walls and all of them gathered in a bluish cloud, and an Atomic Boo soon replaced the fuzzy cloud, and it attacked!

"Wow... That's scu-scu-scary..." Big trembled. "We're never gonna get out of here!" He started sobbing.

"Oh, come on! All we need is light!" said Knuckles.

"Light... Hey! This building has no windows!" Sonic yelled. Suddenly light poured in through the newly materialised windows. The Boo screeched in pain.

Shadow mentioned, "This blue sky... Staring at it from afar, have I seen this before?" as he looked out the window.  
"No, you haven't, Shadow." Suddenly, Baby Shadow appeared from nowhere, looking out the window. By now, Big's tears had flooded the first floor, and the water was rising rapidly.

"NOOOOOO! We don't have insurance!" yelled the gigantic Boo.

Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Tails. "It's a good thing that nothing has broken!" he shouted. Instantly there was a sickening sound of broken glass, wood, metal, china, and bricks falling to the ground.

"AAAGH! Fine! I'll let you have Eldstar back. Just don't make anything else break as I loiter around this cage." Suddenly a card appeared, which was pocketed. "Ha! I got you! Now the O RLY? Owl is free!" An owl flew by, constantly shouting 'O RLY?' and flew out one of the windows. The Boo did the freaky scary face thing and vanished.

"Well, now we need to get out of here. BIG! STOP CRYING!" yelled Sonic, and Big stood up in the elbow-high water in the room. Suddenly, water started to pour from the celing. "We have to get outta here!" It was quickly decided that Banjo would swim down and open the doors, letting the water flow out, which in turn would make the fortress dry as a bone again. That is, until he got a leg cramp when he dove in.

"So, who's next?" Sonic nervously asked. Everyone looked at him. "Who, me?"

"Duh! All you have to do is throw this grenade egg at the door and it'll burst open!" squawked Kazooie.

"Why can't someone else do it?"

"Well, Big here can only float, and the rest of us don't have the lung capacity. You go." stated Knuckles. "Do it or I'll play this recording of Vector repeatedly saying everyone's favorite line!"

"NOOO! Anything but that! Too bad those plumbers aren't here." Mario and Luigi were insantly warped from Shroob to the fortress. "Do you know how to swim well?"

"No." Mario answered. "Unless you had a Frog Suit on you!"

"I'll do it, then, but I won't like it. At least I'll be free of the smell in here for a while." He took the egg, took a deep breath, and started swimming, as the others helped the two plumbers by lending them things that they thought they needed and by filling them in on their situation.

Sonic made it to the door, set the egg with a 1-minute countdown, and threw it. It wasn't until then he noticed the water looked brown and smelled...like gasoline. He made a mad set of strokes back up the stairs and to the room where everyone else was. "RUN!" he yelled. "THE WHOLE PLACE IS GONNA BLOW UP! It isn't water, it's gas!" Everyone, getting the situation, came up with a desperate attempt to escape. Everyone except Sonic crammed into the backpack, (You have to fit a combined total of over 200 times the mass of the backpack in it, yet it never gets bigger in the games!) and Sonic put the backpack on easily. (It must do some weight displacement thing) He then dashed up all the stairs to the sixth floor...15...14...and jumped off the balcony while Kazooie got partially out and did a Feathery Flap, lessening the blow Sonic's legs took when he touched ground, but they still weren't safe yet...5...4...3...Sonic ran as far down Pleasant Path down to Koopa Village as he could...2...1...0.

KABOOM!

The entire building was alight in one instant, and the force of the explosion caused the foundation to break, and the entire thing fell to the ground. Meanwhile, the KFC was going to have one big customer. Of course, I'm talking about the Koopa Firefighting Corporation. Their job was to control the blaze before thousands of acres of property were consumed by the conflagration.

Everyone was thanking Sonic for saving their rears except Shadow, who said, "I could have done it faster just by jumping out the window or using Chaos Control."

"Shadow, old buddy, it's time to forget about those simple things that destroy plot after the first five uses. What next?"

Later they returned to HQ, where Bottles and Jamjars were waiting. "Seen any action yet, punks?" asked Jamjars. Everyone just rolled their eyes with the expression 'you have NO idea' written all over their faces.


	12. Lovebirds, Robots, and Paintings, oh my!

Chapter 12: Lovebirds, Robots, and Paintings, Oh My!

AN: I've received a few questions about the SSS introduced here. Well, it's basically a cloning machine, and each button inserts DNA of an item into the cloner, thus reproducing the item!

"I see you got those plumbers back. Good thing, as this couple was lookin' for 'em." said Jamjars.

"Remember us, Mario? It's Raz and Raini! We've been looking everywhere to thank you for clearing the wedding hall several years ago! We have a special item to give you. It's called a 'Super 'Shroom Storage.' It can make any kind of mushroom, just with the press of a button! Just press a button, and..." Raini pressed one of the buttons, and a Goomba popped out. "...I guess it DOES make any kind of mushroom that's ever existed... Well, anyway, we need to get back to our 192nd honeymoon! See ya later!" They then went back through the time hole back to the Mushroom Kingdom, then reappeared. "Oh, we almost forgot. Have this odd key that we found! Bye!" Then they went back for good.

"I see you're loaded. Care to buy anything?" asked Bottles as he handed them a list of brand new merchandise.

Bottles:

Frog Suit: MLAllows you to swim for an indefinite amount of time 150N

Boom Box: Au? 200N

Mega Hammer: AA Piko Piko Hammer upgrade 200N

Tanooki Suit: MLTurns you into a tanooki 300N

Feather: MLAllows you to fly 300N

Metal Cap: MLTurns you into liquid metal 300N

Dragon Pot: MLTurns you into a dragon for 1 minute each time 500N

Bull Cap: MLTurns you into a bull version of yourself for a minute 500N

Fang: MLTransforms you into a vampire until garlic touches you500N

Garlic Button: MLA button for the Super 'Shroom Storage 500N

Chomp Whistle: EvSummons a Chain Chomp 500N

Koopa Curse: ML? 500N

Translator: EvTranslates every dialogue into English 800N

Jamjars:

Bros Ball: MLAllows you to transform into a ball 500N

Thunderhand: LBasic electric move 500N

Firebrand: MBasic fire move 500N

Bros Cyclone: MLSpin at a very fast speed 500N

Roadkill: Ev? 1000N

"...Well, aren't you ever so popular!" Sonic mentioned to Mario. They had 4420 notes, including those 6 notes THAT WOULD NOT GO AWAY! They purchased the Translator, the boom box, the frog suits, thunderhand and firebrand moves, and the two caps, the fang, the feather, and the button. The boom box vanished, and all its data went to my online music player, which I refuse to name as it's free publicity! (cue E. Gadd theme)

"Hey, fellers!" E. Gadd said. "I have it ready! What, you may ask? Why, it's FLUDD 2.0! It can move in its own now. Here it comes!"

A sleek and shiny robot appeared. "I am FLUDD 2.0. A Flash Liquidizing Ultra Dousing Device, taken to the next level. Watch me pump wat...e...r..." As it tried to pump, it blew its circuits and crashed on the floor.

A sweatdrop appeared on E. Gadd. "Well... Darn it! I'm going to the extreme! See you whippersnappers later!" With that he dashed off.

"...Well, it seems like we need to be elsewhere. Any sign of other artifacts?" asked Tails.

There was a minute of silence, and then... "Kirby! Kirby!" shouted out the pink fluffball.

"...What was that?"

Suddenly, everything in the background as fire replaced it. Suddenly Kirby seemed to grow 5 stories tall with fiery eyes. "KIRBY, KIRBY!" it yelled.

"Wha-OUCH!" Sonic elbowed him.

"Use the censored translator already!"

When Tails put on the headset, Kirby's translated voice came in. "...If you make me say it one more friggin' time, I swear I'm gonna phrase censored"

"... ... ... ...I'm emotionally scarred for life."

"Finally, a breakthrough to that supposed 'genius'! You gotta drop me off at the SUPERHEROES convention, which is coincidentally close to where one of the Holy Table Setting pieces are. ...That look on your face... You've never heard of them have you? If someone were to dine using all the pieces, they would have a full stomach."

"You interrupt us just to get us to recover DISHES AND SILVERWARE?"

"You interrupted me. I was GOING to say they would have a full stomach, AND be invincible until all traces of the food they ate were gone. That's invincibility for a good two days straight at one sitting. Apparently, the meeting's being held in Dry Dry Desert. I remember hearing something about a warp from a castle to there."

"Know of any castles, Mario?"

"Well, there's the Princess's castle. Let's try there."

cue castle theme from PiT

"Oh, Mario! The princess! She's been taken!" yelled Toadsworth.

"By Bowser again, I bet."

"No-by the council of the people!"

"Oh. Would it be for 'spawning evil'?"

"Wait... How do you know?"

"Long story. Toadsworth, have you seen a door that this key might fit in?" He showed the key, which had a Goomba on the end opposite end of the teeth.

"Hmm... Well, there is one door. We've been looking for the key to there for years. We couldn't get in after Bowser took over the castle and was thrown out again. We never found the key. Come with me!" With that, he led them to Princess Peach's chambers, where the infamous 'secret wall switch' was pressed. After going through the fireplace, he directed them through another secret corridor behind a fake wall. "You see, here it is." The door he was pointing at looked like a large Goomba, and it was a pair of doors with a lock in the center. When the key was turned in the lock, the door opened, and there was a room with another door at the far side. This one, and the next one, and the one after that, all had keys in their locks. The second door was of a Toad. The third door was in the shape of a Koopa Shell, and the fourth was a Nomadimouse. There were also large portraits of places. The first was just a black space. The second was of a gloomy-looking wall with a green pipe. The third was of a hammock with a content Koopa lying on it, and the last was a thick curtain.

"What are these for?" Amy asked.

"Well, a few years ago, Bowser took over the castle and made warps to other places through paintings of short descriptions of the place, and in one case, a huge clock, and a hole that lead to a place far above the clouds." answered Mario.

"Well then, let's try to get into these paintings. ...No, let's test them first. I'll poke it and if my finger goes through, then someone can get through it."

"...No, wait. Only one person can get through at a time." Toadsworth mentioned.

"No problem!" Kazooie squawked. "Let's just use the Taxi Pack!"

"Okay, my fingers can get through! Everyone in! You too, Kirby!" Banjo shouted. When everyone got in, the bear leaped into the picture of the Koopa.

Kooper enjoyed his new picture of Princess Peach's castle. He stared at it a lot in his free time, wondering where Mario was. He was probably off on another adventure. Once, he saw a pink finger come out of it, but he thought nothing of it. Then, a minute or two later, a bear burst through it. It threw Kooper into a state of mild shock, but he was even more surprised when he started pulling other things out, which were several animals and two famous plumbers. "Mario! Long time no see!"

"Hey, Kooper. We were just seeing where the picture led, and it brought us here to Koopa Village, I guess."

"You know, I got that odd painting off of a flea market a few weeks ago. It was a little after a creepy shadow spread across town, then vanished about a half-hour later. Was it an evil witch who was easy, yet wasted your time by monologuing?"

"Yeah, that was the Shadow Queen. Well, see ya later. We just wanted to know where it led." After waving goodbye, everyone returned to the castle.

"So, if the door with the Koopa shell led to Koopa Village, then logic would follow that the Goomba was Goomba Village, the Toad was somewhere below Toad Town, and the mouse thing would probably lead to a desert." stated the now-competent Big. Following that logic, they all sprang into the backpack and into the painting towards a new destination...


	13. In the Sea of Sand

Chapter 13: In the Sea of Sand

AN: Finally, the villains shine! Also, the next manifestation of unholy he-she-it evil appears!

In the farthest corner of the desert, an evil society is meeting. A lot has happened since the last time we saw many of the villains. Kamek moved all of his magic to the grown-up Bowser. But the good news is that they had a gigantic 'building' to have the meeting in, while Baby Bowser had to steal a shell from a passing Koopa. The bad news was that the regular Bowser couldn't fit into any of the openings, so in fury he ate the Cobalt Star. Only to grow another 12 feet.

Eventually it was worked out that Kamek was to store all the energy for later, when it was truly needed.

"Any suggestions?" asked Grodus, the disembodied head who was presiding.

"I know!" shouted Grunty. "We throw a hard quiz on them, lose, then bring out Plan B!"

"What's plan B?"

"That would be our friends here." She pointed to a bunch of purplish figures enshrouded in darkness.

"Any others?"

"I say that we send troops out to kill them that they can fire back and kill us with. Then we send out Plan B." King Goomba suggested.

"Let's create a very menacing form with a glaring weak spot, then send out Plan B." Metal Sonic said.

"No, let's fool them with a cleverly hidden plot twist that's already partially revealed, then suprise them again, and take on a menacing form. THEN we'll use Plan B." The Elder Princess mentioned.

"No." supplied Grodus. "We'll hide in a secret base with the princess where she can contact and help them, all the while relaxing and thinking we've got everything under control."

"No way! Let's set the Owl on them!" someone said.

"NO! The O RLY? Owl is precious! Besides, it just started breeding with the last of the YA RLY! Owls. Soon, we'll have a plethora of expression owls!"

"Then... How are we going to keep them from getting to us?" someone asked. "We're in a who-knows-how-big shell, vulnerable, and if we can't find a way to hide this, we will be assaulted!"

Without thinking, Kamek's spirit (he was able to move that as he wished) used a shrinking spell on the shell. "No! If you use that, then it'll be the proper size for the little Bowser! Sto..." Grodus wasn't able to finish that thought.

Only Baby Bowser was outside, because he couldn't attend the meeting. When the sand settled after a mini-sandstorm, he saw his shell, but it was occupied. It was the new home of the next he-she-it manifestation of unholy evil.

When he reclaimed his shell, his eyes literally bled at what he saw, so he quickly replaced that with the shell he had been wearing.

The creature had a robotic sheen, and in some places, you could see circuits running through it. It seemed to be a grotesque version of Bowser, and it soon grew to his height. It had the Shroob's crown, the odd bat-ear things from Cackletta, and it had three heads. One was Bowser's. Another was Grunty's and the third was the Tails Doll's. Its skin was Shadow Queen purple with streaks of red, blue, yellow and green. The shell turned into a metallic gray with sharp spikes made of bones. "Ha ha ha." It asid with its discord of many voices. "Good job, Kamek. We... HACK!" It started coughing as something unexpected happened.

When everyone became a part of the...thing, which was later named the Growdell, Fawful became... "I am the uvula in the mouth of evil! Without me, evil shall not pass harsh verbal abuse on those heroes in a fanfic made by some dumb 13-year old!" Move, Fawful, or my patience with you will run out. And then, I might be tempted to vaporize you. "Fine." He moved from the mouth to the bottom of the right foot. "I am now the veruca on the foot that is the world! I cause pain whenever it tries to move, which is all the time!" Much better.

That's all you need to know for right now. Now, let's cross the desert to the little town there.

Dry Dry Outpost is the only town in the vast expanse of Dry Dry Desert. Recently, though, snowcone machines and air conditioning units had been bought for the enjoyment of the citizens and everyone who visited the dusty place.

Everyone came through the curtain as Merlee, who was, as Kooper was, shocked. She had no idea that she had visitors who came from the BACK of her tent. "Oh... Oh, hello, Mario! Before you ask, I joined a support group, CRA. Oddly, some hag named Grunty was there too. She looked odd, but I couldn't place my finger on what it was... Anyway, I foresaw your coming, but I DID NOT predict where you were coming from. Oh, and Kirby, yes I know you. When you exit the town, head straight south."

Kirby thanked her and rushed off to the meeting coincidentally held in the exact opposite corner of the desert as the villains.

"Now, Mario. You need to cross Mt. Rugged. When you get to the base, you will meet someone with the Holy Grail. It is one of the many pieces of the Holy Table Setting, which you must protect. Good luck to you." With that, Merlee dashed out of her tent.

"Well, do you want to get it now?" asked Banjo.

"Of course! Let's go!" squawked Miss Impatient AKA Kazooie.

So they went off into the desert. Unfortunately, a sandstorm brewed, sweeping them, even Big, off their feet, and they ended up at the feet of a giant monstrosity of 50 feet.

"So there you are." said the multitude of vocalization. "Now it's time to go nighty-night down the rollercoaster of DEATH!" Growdell exclaimed. Before anyone could react, they were swallowed alive, and landed in some dark purplish liquid and began to sink in it, until they were seen no more...


	14. In the Belly of the Koopa

Chapter 14: In the Belly of the Koopa

AN: I can't believe I made it this far! In this chapter, there is a new character added to the party, and I own him, as he's an English-speaking one! Anyway, there are also types that are introduced, and I thought that the best way to introduce it was by a Pokemon-like script.

Teacher: Today, we will discuss TYPES and NATURES. A TYPE is what give most things an advantage or disadvantage over another TYPE or another with the same TYPE. For example, Sonic is a FLYING TYPE, and Shadow is a DARK TYPE. NATURES give stat boosts to characters. Yes?

Student: Would Rouge be SEXY-NATURED?

Teacher: slaps student Of course not! She's NAUGHTY! That means her PHYSICAL ATTACK (PA) is raised, while her SPECIAL DEFENSE, (SD) for long-range attacks like spells is lowered. Cream is naïve, so her SPEED is increased, while her SD STAT is lowered. Now let's talk about TYPE ADVANTAGES. They determine how much DAMAGE is created by an attack. If someone uses an attack that is the same type as them, the damage gets an added 50 more damage. TYPE MATCHUPS also help determine the damage. Let's say Luigi, an ELECTRIC TYPE, attacks Sonic, a FLYING TYPE. The damage is doubled in that case. So Luigi can PWN Sonic, Cream, and Rouge, as they are all FLYING-TYPES.

Student: What about those flutes?

Teacher: They aren't important. Now, BATTLES are used to test one's strength against another's. The f...

The rest of the page was ripped. A Delivery Chansey stood with a tip bag outstreched. Cream, being nice, gave it 25 notes, as it jumped in joy. It then used Teleport and vanished.

"So, what does it mean?" asked Amy.

"Wait. Who has a pencil?" Rouge requested. She was given one and she wrote a 4 on it. After that, she attached it to a stone wall of the cell they landed in. "Continue, on then, Amy."

"Err... Okay, then... As I was saying, couldn't we be at a disadvantage, because there could be those that might take advantage and ruin the outcome of this fanfic, right?" The solid brick wall crumbled.

"Thanks, Amy! It seems you're useful at last." said Sonic.

"AT LAST?" Amy turned into a ferocious fire-breathing lizard. "I'VE HELPED YOU FOR YEARS AND YOU JUST NOW THINK I'M USEFUL! AARGH!" She let out a bolt of flame, scorching Sonic.

Suddenly, a Yoshi appeared. "Hey, everybody!" it said, in English.

"Um... Aren't Yoshies supposed to say only 'Yoshi'?" Luigi asked.

"Well, yeah, but it gets so DULL if you only say one word. Hungry? YOSHI! Thirsty? YOSHI! In extreme pain? YOSHI! Y'see, EVERYTHING translated into the Yoshi language, which is coincidentally called Yoshi, is JUST ONE FRIGGIN' WORD! That's what drove me to learn Engrish, I mean, English. I still pronounce some things wrong, though. Anyway, I'm your little tattletale, with all the info you'll ever use! Right now, I'm here to..."

"HURRY UP ALREADY! I'M BURNING!" Sonic yelled in pain.

"...I was just getting to that. This here is an example of a Status Effect! They render you partially incapable of attacking or defending. This here..." He took out a Refreshing Herb. "...heals absolutely any side effects of attacks, burn, poison, or even freezing, this little plant does it all!" He threw it at Sonic, and a green cloud appeared. When it disappeared, Sonic was back to normal. Then the Yoshi began to do things to others. He made Amy and Big swallow stuff from bottles, he whacked Luigi on the head, hit Mario on the head, threw a snowflake at Cream, and had Rouge and Shadow inhale something. Suddenly Amy turned purple, Big lost his balance, Cream froze solid, little stars surrounded Luigi, a small pink tornado formed over Mario, Rouge fainted, and Shadow's eyes turned red and an evil aura surrounded him.

"Let's start with Cream. She's been frozen." He tossed another Herb at her and she returned to normal. "Mini Poodoboos also cure it."

"What happened?" she asked.

"You've been frozen! Now, for Shadow, he's been possessed." He threw a third Herb at him." Shadow returned to normal, and he attempted to hit the dinosaur, but was trapped by the baby Fun Box! "Mini-gust 1000's cure that too. Anyway, Big's become intoxicated, so he gets an Herb, but you could also use a FF Machine." Big finally got up.

"Now, Amy has been poisoned. A simple Refreshing Herb or an Antidote will cure that. Rouge has fainted, and there are two cures. A 1-Up Mushroom, or a Refreshroom will do the trick." He threw one of the two mushrooms he was holding. "A Refreshroom replenishes all of one's health, while the 1-Up will only replenish half. Luigi and Mario are dizzy and confused. Dizzy people miss more often and confused ones attack their own allies." He threw two herbs at them. "These are the only known cure!"

"...Are you done with that speech?"

"Yes, and I know that you were supposed to meet a group near the base of this creature. There's an exit in the feet."

"Hey... While we're here, could we do one little thing?" Amy asked with faked innocence.

"Yeah, if it's quick."

_Yeah, it'll be quick._ Amy thought. "Well, where are we?"

"According to my IPS, we're in Bowser's head."

"Perfect. Where's the way to the other heads?"

"Um...just through those passages."

"Thanks!" She ran off to the left.

"So, what the HECK was that?" Knuckles asked.

"The thing that swallowed you? That was Growdell, the next manifestation of unholy evil in our worlds. They were all compressed together so tight, they fused with each other."

"Guess what I'm thinking, Shadow?" asked Sonic.

"Oh censored. Not now!"

"Urk...gag..." Sonic fell on the floor, and he looked like he was having a seizure. He stopped moving, and he dissolved into the floor.

"Uh-oh. Sonic seems to be a casualty, but first let's catch up to Amy. Oh, by the way, my name is...Yoshi. In fact, EVERY Yoshi is named 'Yoshi.'"

Meanwhile, Amy was trying to pull the largest plug out of a wall ever in existence. After a while of futile effort, she took her rage out on the cord, and she managed to tug it out. Every light went out. There were plenty of lights, but there was no one else in there, save one or two.

When the others got there, it was pitch black, but they managed to plug it back in in the light of leftover rage. Cue Yoob's stomach music "Say, did I mention that we need to go through the Sky Deck? It's a passage that links the bridge of the Bowser's head to the middle." said Yoshi. "But we have to watch out for large gusts of wind. Then we need to get through the Acid Shelter, then through Brown Mountain, Tinkle Park, and the Final Leg. Oh, but first we need to get past the Mayhem Temples. It's just ahead. (I love spinoffs, don't you?)"

They started off, but never noticed that now Cream was missing also...


	15. The Mayhem Temples

Chapter 15: The Mayhem Temples

"Hey, where's Cream?" asked Amy.

"I don't know." answered Yoshi. They were in a place filled with rusty machinery and catwalks.

"I wonder what this does?" said Amy as she pressed a large red button with a skull imprinted on it. Immediately the gears started rotating but several fell from the sky.

"You idiot! Now look what you've done! RUN!" yelled Yoshi.

Soon they came across several rows of rings snaking around. Since only Amy and Shadow could use the Light Dash, the Taxi Pack was necessary.

"Wow, it IS roomy in here!" shouted Banjo as he dropped down into the cave.

"Hey, what's this?" asked Rouge as she picked up a golden key off the ground.

"Oh, that. I just found it one day, so I added it to the collection in here. If you dig underneath all this stuff, you'll find hundreds of them."

"REALLY?"

"Yup."

Meanwhile, Shadow and Amy were nearing the top of a pillar. All the while, Yoshi kept sticking his head out and swallowing gears.

"STOP IT ALREADY!" yelled an annoyed Amy. "You're gonna break my concentration!"

"Hey, you never know when you need eggs."

"EGGS?"

"Well, we Yoshies can process things almost instantly and turn them into eggs. Before you ask, we do eat a lot of fruit high in pulp content."

"...Wow..."

Soon they made it to the top, where there was a single stone door off to one side. "Hey, are there any keys in there?" asked Amy into the pack.

"How many?" replied Banjo.

"Five, and hurry!"

The keys were quickly tossed up. They were perfect fits, and the double doors swung open, revealing an elevator.

"...I guess we need to talk to that mole."

When the elevator was brought up, Wineglasses took their SSS and added a button to it.

"There, now you can all use Power Flowers!"

"What are those supposed to do? Give our enemies allergies?" asked Kazooie.

"No, they give different effects depending on who sniffs it. I hear that Mario and Luigi have done it before, and their powes are of floating and invisibility. Now, lets go through a tutorial!" Everything around them vanished and they were in some grassy plain.

"Now, each person is different, and so are their powers. Amy can boost the stats of anyone and give beneficial status conditions to them. Big can bounce around, destroying enemies. Shadow can affect the enemy with negative status effects, Rouge can knock out weak enemies using her special body slam with extra bounciness and can use it to get to higher destinations quicker. Banjo can use it to have poison enemies very badly with poison-filled claws, Kazooie can transform into a dragon, and when you find them, Sonic and Cream can get a very high critical attack ratio and turn Cheese into a copy of Chaos 0, respectively. Yoshi right now, can breathe a gas that makes things dizzy. Oh, and you can only have one Power Flower in effect at once. Now let's get back to the Mayhem Temples, shall we?"

They started to fade back into the world they left earlier. "Good day to you all!" The elevator vanished after Wineglasses went back down.

"Hey, I see another door!" shouted Yoshi, pointing to it. After inserting the five keys needed, they found a series of gears that were barely missing the celing.

"I think that we should use one of those Flowers." said Banjo.

After debate, they gave it to Shadow to see if he could corrode them, which worked. The twelve gears melted into nothingness, granting them safe passage.

Afterwards, they found an odd, sparkling creature. "Hey, that's a Glowbo! Banjo pointed out. "Let's see what we can get with it." And so it was pocketed.

In front of them was a long drop. In the interest of safety, Taxi Pack was again necessary. This time, Mario was given the plant so he could float down to safety.

Halfway down, though, its effects wore off and they went plummeting. Mario, smartly, dove quickly into the blue haven, just as it hit the ground with a thud.

They were close to leaving the temples, but they had a ways to go. After another section of falling down, they landed in lava and were carried downstream onto a shore. (The thing's LAVA-PROOF! Just play Banjo-Tooie in Hailfire Peaks!)

Soon they encountered a red pepper. "Mmm!" Yoshi swallowed it and turned red. "Spicy!"

"Uh... Yoshi, why did you change color?" asked Banjo.

"Oh, species history. When we eat different fruit, we turn different colors. Also, we are the most diverse users of those Power Flowers! Just hand me one and watch me work on this wall of ice here!" He sniffed it and promptly burned the wall into water.

"Wow..."

"Yeah. You should see the other things we can do."

They rushed onward, but didn't notice Luigi vanishing.

Soon after that, they found another door. After inserting the golden keys, they came across another elevator.

"What? You got here ALREADY? Wow, you're fast!" Wineglasses stated.

"Well, the urge to escape made us rush a little." said Yoshi.

"Well, here's another dozen buttons for the different fruits, then." He swapped machines with them.

"So, what do the fruits do?" asked Amy.

"Well, they change Yoshi's Power Flower effect. No matter what, he fires a stream of something. The fruits are the melon, the banana, the strawberry, the orange, the cherry, the red pepper, the snowberry, the steelberry, the blackberry, the twirlyfruit, the apple, and the blueberry. They change Yoshi's color and effects. See you lot later!" He then went down the elevator again.

After working through a maze of scaffolding and falling gears, they made it to a series of eight colored Yoshi statues with holes in their stomachs. "Wow... Hey, what's this?" Amy questioned. "'If you wish to enter the staircase down, the pillars must be activated by the fruit beams.' ...What are those?"

"I think it's referring to my breath abilities. Let's see." Yoshi tossed a melon in the air with a Power Flower and swallowed both. He turned a deeper shade of green and blew a flurry of leaves into the green statue. After a while, it seemed to come alive, and its rock outside shattered.

"Yoshi!" exclaimed the dinosaur.

"...Hold on guys. I'll talk to him. A-HEM! Yoshi?"

"Yoshi."

"Yoshi?"

"Yoshi!"

"YOSHI!"

"...Yoshi." The other yoshi blushed.

"Okay, guys. We need to free his friends and they'll move the rock over there that's blocking the passage."

After freeing the other Yoshies with elemental blasts of fire, ice, water, air, electricity, darkness, and psychic energy, the eight Yoshies moved the boulder, which seemed to be a Chain Chomp. Everyone exited the Mayhem Temples, as a huge gear made it impossible to go back. They were now in the Sky Deck, a gooey green way down to the exit, not knowing the dangers that lay there...


	16. The Sky Deck

Chapter 16: The Sky Deck

AN: Wow, I never thought I would be motivated enough to get this far! But, a lack of homework and things to do will work wonders for making creativity flow!

Cue Sky Deck type 2 music

...What? It's Sonic's line.

There was a faint green dot on the large, all blue sky with a duller yellow sun. ...Oh, fine. Sonic is shrunk back down to size and Cream flew Luigi back to the other characters. The REAL background was a wet, green cave with snotty handrails in the distance. I had to make it seem more appealing.

"This must be the way to the COMPUTER ROOM!" said Sonic as his voice suddenly changed.

"What the friggin' censored happened?" asked Kazooie. Oops. I stuck my PAR into my computer and not my GBA. ...Oh well, let's incorporate that here. Let's see... Suddenly everything turned black. Uh-oh. The stupid thing made the computer crash! In the meantime, let's harness the awesome power of...LUIGI! Luigi has a lightbulb in his mouth.

"So, what do we do now?" someone asked. Well, look out for glitches, avoid Resetti, let Luigi shed light on the deck, and get out.

"Well, how do we FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM? Hack...cough." said Sonic as Vector's voice replaced his again. Go straight down. DUH! Luigi, concentrate your electricity into your mouth. He did so, and the lightbulb glowed brightly, but when everyone looked around, no one was the same.

Sonic had turned into Vector, Cheese and Cream were Tikal and Chaos 0, Shadow was Cream, Luigi and Mario had swapped bodies, there was a bear peeking out of a bag held by a breegul, Amy was Sonic and Rouge was Shadow. Knuckles was in Rouge's body, and that started a rift between him and Rouge, as he thought of how he wanted to get to the nearest bathroom. Big was Charmy, and Blaze was a purplish crocodile with a red top hat. (cookie to whoever guesses who it is)

"censored, I'm in that censored rabbit's body." Shadow said.

"Well, at least you aren't in the body of someone who's chased online by hordes of raving people foaming in rage at your COMPUTER ROOM!" said Sonic.

"Sorry, Shadow." started Cream, who immediately shoved a new bar of soap in his mouth. "My mom believes in clean mouths. Whoops!" A small machine with a bright red button fell from her pocket. It released a red wave of energy at Shadow and he vanished, reappearing ten steps behind, still in Cream's body. "Well, let's go." she said, as she quickly picked up the contraption, blushing.

After dozens of flights with only a lightbub lit by a plumber, all the lights came on and the music restarted. Also, a mole in a pair of overalls appeared from the ground. "WHOA! How did you get here?" Mario asked.

"Well, Luigi, I'm Mr. Resetti and I'm here to lecture about resetting as it's..."

"censored you!" said Shadow, as he threw the mole off the side of the railing.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'VE BEEN LISTEEEEEEEED!" Resetti yelled as he fell. There was a hole that led straight to the bottom of the stairs and beyond. Alright, I'll work on the system debugging. It should be done in a little bit. Just continue going down the stairs.

Suddenly another Delivery Chansey appeared, which gave them a package even it strained to lift. "Hey, it's for me." said Mario. He reached and opened the letter attached to it. "'Dear Master Mario,'" he read. "'We were recently searching the castle and in the sewers we found these. We hope they will be of use to you. Sincerely, Toadsworth.' Well, let's open this in the pack. It looks heavy."

They all went into the backpack and opened it, but thousands of little somethings spilled out. Some of them were odd-looking badges, there were billions of beans, and there was a pile of seventy colored envelopes, five of each color. They all seemed to have locks on them. There were also small pictures above each lock.

"Say...those pictures look like these keys!" Yoshi said as he pulled out three small keys. One had a lifelike mushroom, another a 1-up mushroom and the third a mushroom drop. "Let's try this one first." He inserted the key into one of the yellow envelopes. It opened, and...

"FOOOOLS!" yelled a spirit as it came out. "You have released me! And now I will curse you! BE CURSEDED! Three flashes of white light occured, and then Yoshi had wings on his head. "Haha! You may have wings, but you'll be a laughingstock! Just think of the pain of a million insults! Well, I'm off to Vegas! See you idiots later! Haha!" With that the cursing ghost vanished.

"...Well, one person I know of will kill to meet me. First I can speak English, and now, I guess I'm a Parayoshi. Let's see what goodies the others have."

Several minutes later, Yoshi was 'cursed' with becoming a helicopter and car (with the despairaging remarks about getting gum on the wheels and having to have someone else steer), and an elongated, retractable tail. The final curse moved hs wings to the tiny shell thing and made it more like a Koopa Shell.

For Mario, it was a cursed handkerchief (the one Baby Bowser used), a cursed parasol, the ability to turn into paper, the boat transformation, and a Lazy Shell.

Luigi received the paper ability too, and he could turn into an airplane, got another Lazy Shell, horrible 'lithpth' (lisps), and ability to control water as well as electricity. Of course, they all got awful remarks about them, saying how it'll badly hurt them or their reputation.

"Tho, anyway." said Luigi. "What thall we do with all thethe beanth?"

"I think we should make quick, easy money with them at the cafe." said Mario.

"What kind of cafe would accept those beans, Mister Mario?" asked Cream.

"Why, Starbeans, of course!"

They decided to take the easy way out by falling through the hole, but they only fell three flights with a resounding thud, as strange things prevented them from going any further. Specifically, the floor on that level streched and congealed to remove the hole.

Then, the lights started flickering again, and the floors and walls began to morph and change. The music changed to an old boss theme. "Aah! Stop scratching some record! It ges annoying!" Amy shouted. It changed to another random sound, the sound of Grunty laughing repeated over and over and over and over. l9iuyr it changed to Luigi's Mansion yr4f5e3 and the lights went off again. Hey, the fy543 is affecting this gt4j76' Sets of question 5r43 appeared and floated y5r4l,j while clouds of gas with eyes also appeared.

Oh. Here's the debugging guide. Step 1: take PAR unit out. Step 2: insert CD into drive. Step 3: pray. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...Okay, done! The question marks vanished and the clouds of gas turned into ghosts and vanished as the lights came back on. Everyone turned back to normal, but the top hat was still there.

"I'l stash it in with the other pieces of clothing I have." said Banjo. He went in, followed by everyone else.

"Hey, Banjo... Why do you have one of Printhethh Peach'th dretheth?" asked Luigi.

"Well, I got one of her complete wardrobes. Kinda a collectible. Also I have..."

scene censored to keep most characters in all games somewhat respectable

"...I didn't know Bowser still has to wear a diaper." said Mario.

"And I didn't know Eggman wears bikinis to the beach." said Rouge.

"And I didn't know that Black Doom and Chaos are mutated Chaos." said Shadow.

"And I DID know that you've turned your room into a shrine dedicated to me, Amy, but pulling my hair for it and spraying everything wth air freshener made from my sweat is obsession. I'm getting a resraining order to prevent it going any further." said Sonic.

"And I had no clue that Grunty sleeps like this, until I snuck in and took this picture." said Banjo. "You could say it's a one-stop embarrasment shop. I even have files on you all."

'It started as a hobby, but it got way out of hand." said Kazooie.

"I have cameras and microphones everywhere! I even have a tape of the Princess and Bowser doing something that's already been mentioned in this fanfic." Somewhere far away, a wall started to crack. "And, I have something in here, under TONS of junk I've had to pick up. Come on, we need to wait to hit the bottom anyways. Oh, and Rouge, don't try to take anything. I keep perfect inventory that I check every day."

They began to submerge themselves into the pile of junk, and made it all the way down, about half a mile. "Here is Kazooie's personal room, and here is where the most glittery things I can find. One of my mottoes is: if it looks important and shiny, pick it up! Oh, and here's the psychiatrist's room. We were forced to get him, as Kazooie was swallowing gold whole. (See Banjo-Kazooie for a firsthand account of this) Anyway, here's a shiny rock I found!"

"You...you had this Emerald, yet you never bothered to TELL US?" said Sonic.

"Well, geez. I didn't know this was one of those thingies you were talking about. Lighten up a little! Oh, we reached the bottom. Let's take the elevator back up."

"The...ELEVATOR?" Knuckles yelled. "Why didn't you say something about it?"

"Hey. It goes up when someone steps on it, and goes back down when no one's on it. Did you want to get splattered on the ground half a mile down?"

A silence. They got on the elevator, and left for the Acid Shelter...


	17. An Acidic Adieu

Chapter 17: An Acidic Adieu

AN: To keep all the censored out there from getting too excited, the interior tour stops here.

They entered the Acid Shelter, which was just a grind rail over some yellowish acid to the exit. "THIS is it?" asked Shadow.

"No, it isn't, you fools of foolishness!" yelled Fawful, who flew in. "Haha! I HAVE FURY! You did not do the falling and squishing at the bottom which were the expectations of me! Now you shall feel the wrath of evil! You go meet your maker! OMOCHAO!" An Omochao entered.

"It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun! It's fun!" it repeatedly said.

"You can do the stopping now or I will pull out the syrup! And use it on the stomach acid of the beast which we are now in!"

"I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling! I'm telling!"

"Argh! I HAVE FURY!" Sweatdrops appeared on everyone else. "That is the end of it! It will be stopped by me!" He pulled a jar out with a flower in it. "This syrup of ipecac will be the end of you, you pest!" He threw it into the acid surrounding the rail.

"Get in the backpack." said Banjo.

"Why?" asked Amy.

"Just do it! I've seen this before! We'll get out of here, but just get in the backpack!" The ground started to rumble. "Hurry!" Everyone jumped in it, and it seemed to fly upward in a yellowish volcanic eruption. Only the 'lava' didn't go far. Everyone (except Fawful and the Omochao) was sent hurtling out of the Mushroom Kingdom, and were accidentally sent out of the bacpack as it wasn't closed completely. They all hit the camera lens, cracking it, and eventually breaking through it as Big, the last to come out, smashed into them all. Hey, that was a new lens!

They eventually landed underground, as a result of Big's extremely powerful body slam, in Teehee Valley, which is in an entirely different country. They were in an underground passage where a certain person was watching TV.

"Wha... YOU!" he yelled at Big. "I've been waiting for you! Time for revenge!" a puff of white smoke emerged from Jr. Troopa, but nothing happened. "Cats are the DUMBEST things ever! They are even proven to have the smallest brain capacity of all!"

"Why...you...little..." Big said. Then, predictably, he leapt on the egg-wearing freak, and suddenly a spike popped up! It spiked Big right in the rear, and he hit the celing in pain, causing it to crumble. Meanwhile, Blaze had attacked him from the side, causing him to crash into the solid brick wall.

"Hey, there'th a pipe over there! Let'th go in it to thee where it leadth!" said Luigi with his recently-acquired lisp. They all packed into it annd worked together to the top.

"Oh my goodness! Mario! Luigi!" yelled Princess Peach.

"What're you here for, printheth?" asked Luigi.

"Here, Luigi. This Crabble Grass they're starting to grow at the Embassy in Little Fungitown. It's good for poisoning and lisps, no matter what the origin. And to answer your question, I came here fleeing the police, because they're trying to arrest me for making the Koopalings, shall we say. Who are these people?"

"These are our ex-enemies from the NES days." Another crack appeared in that distant wall.

"Oh, you mean the ones our game designers poked fun at with a flaming, sharp stick?" Another crack.

"Yeah. So, could we go to Little Fungitown?"

"Of course! The elevator's just around this corner. I'm so glad they destroyed the Anuboos and Gritty Goombas that were here. It made travel nearly impossible. I remember being kidnapped by them several times. Oh well. At least they carried me on coushins rather than having their pointy spears up my rear." They made it to the mushroom-top town, where some police oddicers were.

"Have you seen this princess? She's charged with indecency and having a relationship with Bowser." one asked a passing Toad.

"Princess, climb into this backpack before you're caught." said Banjo.

"Why? It looks so cramped."

"It's bigger on the inside. Hurry before they see you!"

"Oh, fine." She made it in just as an officer came over to question them.

"Hey... You're Sonic! Hey, everybody! The phrase censored is here!"

"No, that conflict ended in the early 2000's when I started to be on the Gamecube, so technically I'm a friend of yours now." said Sonic. The distant wall shuddered even more.

"Oh. Nevermind, then."

"Okay. Where's the closest one of those warp pipe things?" asked Amy. "We could use it to get out of here!"

"Well, there is one, a little south and west of the arcade." said the cured Luigi.

"Well, let's warp elsewhere!"

Suddenly a lightbulb appeared over Mario. "I know! Let's visit Boddle!"

"You mean THE Boddle?" Yoshi, er, Parayoshi questioned. "The Boddle that made the Yoshi Theater?"

"Yeah. We helped him by getting neon eggs for the sign. I did see a few bean fruits in the pack along with the other kinds of beans. But first we should go visit Queen Bean. She might be able to help us with the Princess's problem." They headed into the warp pipe with their destination as Beanbean Castle Town. Little did they know what was going on there...


End file.
